The other day, after my morning constitutional, I was presented with a problem. In the bowl was what looked to be the working end of an ogre's club, huge, dark and narly. I flushed, but the b*stard just sat there and laughed at me. So I grabbed the bog brush and started hacking at it like a lumberjack chopping down a redwood. It took me a good 5 minutes to get it chopped up into pieces small enough to get past the bend. But what do you do if there is no bog brush handy? Do we have any gold medal turd fencers out there? And the way Mrs. Corporal screamed at the poo freckles on the ceiling from my swinging of the brush will be with me forever.