Truth, Justice, Integrity, Accuracy, Professionali

#1
...sm, Compassion.
.. Punctuality, Integrity and a Sense of Humour..

Urgent appeal

The Gits:  ( Chief Git, we are not worthy to even stand in your footsteps,
especially with that Gerber lock blade I've got handy)


But now is your hour, peace has broken out in Iraq and Afghanistan and many poor helpless members of you Corps have been starved for too long of a good laugh.  Surely in your Corp's true hour of need there is some semblance of Private MI that can rise once again rise through these portals?

Knowing the bravery and modesty of the Gits, it is likley that they may not immediately be prepared to reveal themselves, If you do  know their whereabouts
and are in a position to communicate with their secret hideout either by  
 or


please can I implore you to seek their urgent assistance!!

This is an emergency!!
 
F

FINCO

Guest
#2
its would seem that the cheif git is not dead but alive and printing in Germany, as i am holding in my hand a copy of the foresaid publication dated the April 03.

Thruth said, it is lacking any thing of real meat, but the majority of our beloved corps is in Iraq or on leave after returning. So Material is proberly hard to come by at the monent.

I take it you have something you wish to report to the chief git?
 
#3
Unfortunately the mighty organ is still not reaching all parts.  

Elsewhere, the men in black would seen to be active again:  ( I thought we had left them and their goatee beards in the sanctions compliance unit in Sarajevo)

see this story, which is reproduced below:

http://www.observer.co.uk/iraq/story/0,12239,944412,00.html
On 27 april the Observer wrote:

And here is another fine mess from Army intelligence

Burhan Wazir
Sunday April 27, 2003
The Observer

The first casualty of war is intelligence. Several weeks ago, on my arrival in Kuwait to be 'embedded' with the British Army before the start of the conflict, I met Laurel and Hardy, two 'Human Intel' officers attached to my unit. The duo oozed coffee breath, viewed their jobs with Chandleresque intrigue and possessed the wary eyes of those whose contacts have, over the years, led them down a hundred blind alleys.
Our initial zone of engagement was benign. I was washing my underwear outside my tent. Laurel said: 'I know everything about you, but you know nothing about me. You're with the press.'

I was wearing a bright yellow badge stamped 'Media' that had been issued by the Ministry of Defence in London, so this was hardly a great insight, I thought. I wondered what else he had deduced.

'Back home, you work on Gray's Inn Road,' said Laurel, beaming with confidence. Wrong. 'Fleet Street?' Wrong again. 'Canary Wharf?' Wrong once more. 'Wapping?' I put him out of his misery by telling him I worked in Farringdon Road.

Laurel had been right about one thing, though. I didn't know anything about him, although it was beginning to dawn on me that for an intelligence officer, he appeared a little dim.

Hardy wasn't the brightest bulb in the building, either. A few days later, as our unit approached Basra, he nudged my elbow. 'Got something for you,' he said. 'Don't print this - it's third hand - but they are going to take Saddam's palace.'

Someone told him that the British television news organisation, ITN, had anchored its show from the palace the previous evening. Hardy looked shocked, but he spoke on in a whisper. 'Might have something else for you,' he said. 'War graves. Getting close.' He held one finger to his lips. 'Shhhh. Don't print anything.'

As a breaking story, the lead turned out to be spectacularly wrong. Wrong in the sense that southern Iraq is full of war graves...like intelligence officers in a war zone, you can't move for bumping into them.

In this land of tombs, the graves are as conspicuous as posters of Saddam Hussein, Americans and balding war correspondents who hold up their mobile phones and broadcast the sounds of falling bombs to their foreign-desk administrators back home.

I was starting to see why the words 'military' and 'intelligence' are not mutually compatible. My last encounter with Laurel and Hardy, a few days ago, was no less farcical. This time, we met in the vestibule of Saddam Hussein's luxurious palace near the Boulevard of Martyrs in Basra. I told Hardy I was planning to spend two days with the nuclear, biological and chemical unit, the British forces combing southern Iraq for weapons of mass destruction.

'Keep your ears open,' he said, before vanishing. Two hours later, as I was making coffee, he reappeared at my side. 'Remember what I said about keeping your ears open?' he whispered. 'Forget it. It didn't lead anywhere. Might have something else for you later, though. I'm into something big.'

This proved to be true. Not long after, he fell into a manhole. As I stood sympathising with the men, one of Hardy's colleagues smiled. 'For an intelligence officer,' he said, 'that was bloody stupid.'
Who could these these mysterious men be?
The truth is out there, but only Private MI can find it, although I suspect some other readers may be able to help???

FINCO  I appreciate that the current security climate raises huge OPSEC issues for the gits, especially "Everton Mint".
If you are in a position to act as the cut out please PM me.
 
F

FINCO

Guest
#4
Sorry can not help on that front, but I am traveling around various locations over the next week and I will keep my ear to the floor.
 
#5
STOP PRESS
A sneak preview from inside the hothouse environment of the DEC's Northumberland Ave loft.  Sand fly can now exclusively reveal the beta version of DEC's solution to the deployable IT needs for FHTs and Field Security:

NB Not shown in this shot is the optional solar panel and the 5kg deployable kilgety dongle

 
#7
Does he mean me?
Some of you will recognise me when I say that I was the guy who introduced the phrase "Truth, Accuracy, Professionalism, Integrity, etc" to the PMI banner when I took over production of that grubby organ in 2001.
It was the small team who were writing it back then who also coined the phrases "Chief Git", "Total Gits" and "Field Gits".
You'll definitely guess who I am when I add that in Iraq I was known as "(surname) The Slightly Nasty", and I am from Liverpool.
Is PMI still in production then?
God we had a laff writing that, I actually used to cry sometimes, I was laughing so hard, and I always got into loads of trouble after every issue. Perhaps that's why I'm still a WO2?
If the current Chief Git would like to contact me, I would be delighted to contribute occasionally as a Field Git, but I'm a bit too busy for anything more than that.
 
#8
Snitcha said:
Does he mean me?
Well he did 2 years ago, better late than never I suppose??

Since then I have:

- finally restored the deleted MBR from the FAT 16 Drive,
- done CompuSy 1 + 2,
- the long PI course
- my IT Security MSc,
- The 3 week Y branch Arabic cse to SLP 3232
- went to Belize on resettlement; to dispose of some significant property holdings, a pirog and G1098 outboard motor.
- left the Army,
- opened a bar in Thailand with a "close friend " in the SAS,
- returned to UK
- Spent 6 months working for Blackwater in a PSD and, after a spell in interior design and property development in Qatar,
- am now a CLAS consultant working in the Doughnut.
 
#10
Slightly_Nasty said:
Does he mean me?
Some of you will recognise me when I say that I was the guy who introduced the phrase "Truth, Accuracy, Professionalism, Integrity, etc" to the PMI banner when I took over production of that grubby organ in 2001.
It was the small team who were writing it back then who also coined the phrases "Chief Git", "Total Gits" and "Field Gits".
You'll definitely guess who I am when I add that in Iraq I was known as "(surname) The Slightly Nasty", and I am from Liverpool.
Is PMI still in production then?
God we had a laff writing that, I actually used to cry sometimes, I was laughing so hard, and I always got into loads of trouble after every issue. Perhaps that's why I'm still a WO2?
If the current Chief Git would like to contact me, I would be delighted to contribute occasionally as a Field Git, but I'm a bit too busy for anything more than that.
I seem to remember it heading off on a one track line after your good self handed over the reigns.. 'Private 73' was the new nickname for it.. Then I rarely saw an issue for about a year and since the last one (probably early -mid 2004) I saw there has been nothing.
 
#12
Funnily enough, I was tidying up the spare room a couple of weeks ago, and found most of the PMIs produced during 02/03 on CD ROM. I printed them all off, and they are now in the magazine rack in the downstairs bog (ex officers quarters - you know it makes sense). Maybe I should have removed them before my mother came to stay though.

I have also just received an e-mail from one of the other Gits from the 02/03 period, who will shortly be posted to Chickers. Some of you may know who it is when I say he was the really old (hahaha) university educated Cpl in the JHQ Sy Office with the incredibly large porn collection. The collection was so comprehensive, it was almost as big as the library that "Pinkie the Geek" operated in the JR's block.

If anyone does feel like starting it up again, give me a shout as I would definitely be willing to make the occasional contribution (and also give useful hints to the new Chief Git on how to comport him/herself when summoned in front of senior officers to explain themselves). I don't think it would be suitable for anything else but hard copy or intranet distribution, though, and you certainly couldn't do it here for opsec reasons.
 
#13
Depends.. are you talking about the old porn collection or Private MI ? ;)
 
#14
Was a great publication, but shouldnt any rebirth expand the reporting area to the UK as well? Maybe UK and NI representative Gits are required.
 
#15
Totally agree, but if they're still producing PMI in Germany (anyone know?), you'd have to come up with a new name for it.
What about the "Brown nose and Grovel"? Now THAT was a funny publication.
 
#16
I have left no stone unturned in providing answers to the following questions!!!! Read on for the sad tale of Pte MI, sniff, god how I miss it...........

Sand.fly said:
Unfortunately the mighty organ is still not reaching all parts.  

Elsewhere, the men in black would seen to be active again:  ( I thought we had left them and their goatee beards in the sanctions compliance unit in Sarajevo)

see this story, which is reproduced below:

http://www.observer.co.uk/iraq/story/0,12239,944412,00.html
On 27 april the Observer wrote:

And here is another fine mess from Army intelligence

Burhan Wazir
Sunday April 27, 2003
The Observer

The first casualty of war is intelligence. Several weeks ago, on my arrival in Kuwait to be 'embedded' with the British Army before the start of the conflict, I met Laurel and Hardy, two 'Human Intel' officers attached to my unit. The duo oozed coffee breath, viewed their jobs with Chandleresque intrigue and possessed the wary eyes of those whose contacts have, over the years, led them down a hundred blind alleys.
Our initial zone of engagement was benign. I was washing my underwear outside my tent. Laurel said: 'I know everything about you, but you know nothing about me. You're with the press.'

I was wearing a bright yellow badge stamped 'Media' that had been issued by the Ministry of Defence in London, so this was hardly a great insight, I thought. I wondered what else he had deduced.

'Back home, you work on Gray's Inn Road,' said Laurel, beaming with confidence. Wrong. 'Fleet Street?' Wrong again. 'Canary Wharf?' Wrong once more. 'Wapping?' I put him out of his misery by telling him I worked in Farringdon Road.

Laurel had been right about one thing, though. I didn't know anything about him, although it was beginning to dawn on me that for an intelligence officer, he appeared a little dim.

Hardy wasn't the brightest bulb in the building, either. A few days later, as our unit approached Basra, he nudged my elbow. 'Got something for you,' he said. 'Don't print this - it's third hand - but they are going to take Saddam's palace.'

Someone told him that the British television news organisation, ITN, had anchored its show from the palace the previous evening. Hardy looked shocked, but he spoke on in a whisper. 'Might have something else for you,' he said. 'War graves. Getting close.' He held one finger to his lips. 'Shhhh. Don't print anything.'

As a breaking story, the lead turned out to be spectacularly wrong. Wrong in the sense that southern Iraq is full of war graves...like intelligence officers in a war zone, you can't move for bumping into them.

In this land of tombs, the graves are as conspicuous as posters of Saddam Hussein, Americans and balding war correspondents who hold up their mobile phones and broadcast the sounds of falling bombs to their foreign-desk administrators back home.

I was starting to see why the words 'military' and 'intelligence' are not mutually compatible. My last encounter with Laurel and Hardy, a few days ago, was no less farcical. This time, we met in the vestibule of Saddam Hussein's luxurious palace near the Boulevard of Martyrs in Basra. I told Hardy I was planning to spend two days with the nuclear, biological and chemical unit, the British forces combing southern Iraq for weapons of mass destruction.

'Keep your ears open,' he said, before vanishing. Two hours later, as I was making coffee, he reappeared at my side. 'Remember what I said about keeping your ears open?' he whispered. 'Forget it. It didn't lead anywhere. Might have something else for you later, though. I'm into something big.'

This proved to be true. Not long after, he fell into a manhole. As I stood sympathising with the men, one of Hardy's colleagues smiled. 'For an intelligence officer,' he said, 'that was bloody stupid.'
Who could these these mysterious men be?
The truth is out there, but only Private MI can find it, although I suspect some other readers may be able to help???

FINCO  I appreciate that the current security climate raises huge OPSEC issues for the gits, especially "Everton Mint".
If you are in a position to act as the cut out please PM me.
The above article actually appeared in an issue of Pte MI, with the Chief Git also asking for clues to their identities. Indeed I have A1 Int confirming that the identities of the 2 chaps mentioned above were passed to the Chief Git at the time (the one after Slightly_Nasty), by more than 1 source. Anyone who deployed on TELIC 1 will know exactly who the poor unfortunate was that fell down the hole. The partner in crime is a little more difficult to pin down, but, I believe it's from a cast of 2 (both of Sgts Mess status). All I can say is that all the protagonists involved were from the same Coy in 2 MI Bn, any more than this will compromise my source!

Slightly_Nasty said:
Does he mean me?
Some of you will recognise me when I say that I was the guy who introduced the phrase "Truth, Accuracy, Professionalism, Integrity, etc" to the PMI banner when I took over production of that grubby organ in 2001.
It was the small team who were writing it back then who also coined the phrases "Chief Git", "Total Gits" and "Field Gits".
You'll definitely guess who I am when I add that in Iraq I was known as "(surname) The Slightly Nasty", and I am from Liverpool.
Is PMI still in production then?
God we had a laff writing that, I actually used to cry sometimes, I was laughing so hard, and I always got into loads of trouble after every issue. Perhaps that's why I'm still a WO2?
If the current Chief Git would like to contact me, I would be delighted to contribute occasionally as a Field Git, but I'm a bit too busy for anything more than that.
Pte MI temporarily stopped when the Chief Git after S_N was deployed to Afghanistan. I seem to recall reading an issue edited by someone else from his Sect around late 03 early 04. Unfortunately my research has revealed that those operating in the corridors of power within HQ 1 MI Bn wanted editorial control - don't you just deplore censorship! I believe this is why it was stopped (the guy producing it didn't want any interference from on high), along with a lack of copy. It was getting a bit incestuous, with too many articles originating from the office it was written in......

The idea of a digital Pte MI is simply outstanding, but people were always named and shamed in the publication (which could never be done in this forum), which was always part of the attraction - particularly the more senior the target..........

So ends the sad tale of Pte MI, god bless her and all who were shamed in her!
 
#19
Just been going through my collection of back copies, and came across one entry that tickled me. It's also one that I could actually publish here for your delectation. I may start posting a few more when I get the chance to edit them and take all real names out.

Well done to the Adjt for having the ingenuity to patch her office phone through to her home number when she leaves work. This procedure, however, is not without risks, especially when the CO patches his phone through to the Adjt’s when he is away. And this is the reason why, when Comd 1 MI Bde rang the CO’s office during Arrcade Fusion, he got the cryptic message: “Hi, we’re really sorry, but X and Y (names censored) aren’t here at the moment. Please leave a message, and we’ll get back to you"
 
#20
And there's more, he said with an evil grin.....

Cooey to Lt XX, who we’re sorry to hear has been having a few problems with her brand spanking new Alfa GTV (First reported in our August edition - Ed); The brake pedal was constantly sticking, and the poor young h’officer had extreme difficulty getting any revs up. After a week of this, she took it in for repair, demanding irately that the garage fix it under warranty. The mechanic who she had been shouting at just smiled politely, then reached down and pulled out the rucked-up car mat that had got itself jammed under the pedals…..
 

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