True or False?

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Trip_Wire, Aug 7, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Trip_Wire

    Trip_Wire RIP

    Only in Britain ... ...
    Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Britain.. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

    Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

    Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    NOT TO MENTION...

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.(guilty as charged)
    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.
    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

    And finally.........

    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?

    Suspicion of anything foreign!
     

    Attached Files:

  2. Change BRITAN to CNUT IN USA and you might be right
     
  3. BBear

    BBear LE Reviewer

    ..and I wouldn't change it for the world. Well, not that there'll be much left if you lot keep on like you are...
     
  4. A very interesting list, Trippy. Strange how quirky life sometimes is, innit?

    I remember when I lived in Cottbus in the former GDR driving to a little party to which we'd been invited. In the car were a Russian (my business partner), a Bulgarian (his wife), an Italian (my wife) and an Irishman (me), in a Japanese car (Toyota) on a German road.

    Now that's what I call international! :D :D :D

    MsG
     
  5. Carrying on from some of the facts above true or false. Below are the lyrics from Lazyboy - Facts of Life which makes for fun listening. Have a read and see what think...Hell even download it.

    This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
    the bare facts of the life we live
    This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
    These are the facts of the life that we live
    This is who we are
    Bare facts of the life we live
    This is who we are, this is what we do, this is who we are, are, are, are, are...
    so help me god

    Did you know, that 1 out of 4 Americans has appeared on tv?
    Did you know, 61% of all hits on the internet are on sex-sites?
    Every day 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents
    The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year
    Cannabis is the most widely abused drug in the world
    The average person laughs 13 times a day
    Elvis was originally blonde
    The average age of first intercourse is 15.3 years old
    The average erect penis is 5.2" long - and 4.2" circumcised
    Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing
    41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously
    20% of all females have had at least 1 homosexuall experience
    Did you know, that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme?

    This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
    - the bare facts of the life we live
    This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
    These are the facts of the life that we live
    This is who we are
    Bare facts of the life we live
    This is who we are, this is what we do, this is who we are, are, are, are, are...

    22% of the time, a pizza will arrive faster then an ambulance in Great Britian
    96% of all women have at one time in their life faked an orgasm
    3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volt battery works on their tongue
    The 'Guiness Book Of Records' holds the record
    for being the most stolen book in the public libraries
    Butterflies taste with their feet
    5% of the population is gay
    The worlds best known word is 'okay',
    the second most well-known word is 'Coca-Cola'
    The giraffe can clean its ears with its tongue
    Charles Chaplin once won 3rd place in a
    'Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest'
    In 1995 a japanese trawler sank because a
    Russian cargo plane dropped a living cow from 30,000 feet
    Only one book has been printed in more copies than the bible:
    the IKEA-catalogue

    This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
    - the bare facts of the life we live
    This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
    These are the facts of the life that we live
    This is who we are
    The facts of the life we live
    This is who we are, this is what we do, this is who we are...

    1 cigarette takes away five minutes of a person's life
    In 1950 we were 3 billion people on the earth.
    today we are 6 billion people.
    (time is ticking, ticking, yeah...)
    'Donald Duck' was banned in Finland, because he doesn't wear pants
    74% of all nudist-females are nudists, because their husbands are nudists
    More people die from a champagne cork popping, than from poison spiders
    21% of all traffic accidents happen because the driver falls asleep
    Did you know that originally a Danish guy invented the burglar alarm.
    unfortunately it got stolen.

    This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
    Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
    This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
    Yeah, yeah...
    This is who we are
    Bare facts of the live we live
    This is who we are, this is what we do
    This is who we are, this is what we do
    so help me God