True Love...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by LordVonHarley, Jan 30, 2006.

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  1. Right Valintines day is almost upon us and I need ideas.
    Being a tight fist jock I never liked the idea of forking out £60 for some flowers that dry up and die after a few days. Lots of the stuff in the shop's are just consumeristic cr@p that is about as romantic as a dose of the clap. I'm looking for something different. I need ideas! I need Arrse ideas! :D
  2. I'm sure that DBM2 & GB will give you some ideas for ARRSE-loving... 8O :D
  3. You mean getting her a card that reads....
    "Nothing says I love you like an anal STD"
  4. Noddy suit, S10, some restraints and a sign saying want to try something different :)

    Buy a cheap guitar from a sechond hand shop, learn James Blunts wailing song, and play it outside bedroom window to her..... :p

    Home made picknick (made by you), drive her to romantic location, tell her how you feel (in a manly way of course)and how the children (if you have any) are the best and most loving gift she has given you, and also say that, when you are away on ops and feeling down, alone and in the early hours, the memory of her face and times you have had with her brings you comfort .......................

    Then produce the biggest DeBeers Diamond she has ever seen .... the above wont work but I bet the diamond does everytime :)

  5. Bottle of Champers, Card, Fancy oil for a back rub, Then Shag her.....
  6. msr

    msr LE


  7. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Speaking as a jock can I recommend a single rose.

    Very romantic and a damn sight cheaper than a dozen of them!
  8. Say it with words....

    Dearest Valentine i think you're great, i think you're fab,
    I'd love to cover you in spadge before tw.ating you with a paving slab,
    I'd stroke your hair as you lay their still,
    Then roll you in carpet and lobb you down a hill,
    In a ditch your body will lay and wrot,
    Still covered in my tartan coc.k snot,
    They say roses are red, violets blue but a screwdriver to the bonce is all i want to give to you,
    Dearest Valentine please dont think im twisted,
    I'll visit soon to ensure your corpse gets fisted.

    Hope this helps.
  9. Don't try the plastic single rose either. It was such a good idea - it will never die etc etc - Not the best reaction in the world!!!!
  10. I'm in a bit of a special circumstance...what do you get the wife you're in the midst of divorcing? :twisted:
  11. a framed photo of you banging the backs doors in of your new 16 year old thai girlfriend?

    Or simply one of you shagging her mum/sister/gran
  12. Yank_Lurker

    9MM enema?

    Car with no brakes?

    Exit pamplet?

  13. Order a hit on her: less messy and painful than divorce and must be cheaper than paying maintenance? :D
  14. A red letter day voucher entitling her to a Jill Dando doorstep challenge experience