Truckers & Mobiles - Whats the score?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cait, Apr 24, 2007.

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  1. I spend a lot of time on the road commuting and the majority of the time I’m on the blower. Big & clever… maybe not but no worse than those who speed, change CD’s whilst driving, converse with passengers in the car, eat/drink whilst driving, wimmen who drive with their t.its etc……. whatever if I get caught I’ll accept the slap on the wrist, if I run over any small children - well that’s just a few less chav’s clogging up the welfare system.

    But… rights and wrongs aside what does amuse me is how busy other drivers get when they see you doing it – Truck Drivers in particularly. Have they held a truckers convention to oust drivers on mobiles, they don’t half get upset, beeping horns, flashing lights, waving fists. Surely they have more important things to concern themselves with like pulling out into fast lane of the M1 during rush hour and taking 10 miles to overtake another truck? Or keeping the little French girl stuffed in the footwell quiet before choking her on their convoy!

    More ironic was the chap this morning who drove past shaking his finger disapprovingly – he was doing 45mph in a 30 - you’ve got to love it.

    But the award for the biggest chod goes to the chap who pulled level with me at the traffic lights, made some aggressive gestures about me being on the mobile, held up some ID and told me to pull over – I’m still not sure what civil powers a Tesco’s Club card gives you but he was willing to give it a go!

    I say lick me, there's got to be more concerning things to be getting busy about, or should i be a good bint and start towing the party line?
  2. Go handsfree you silly mare
  3. Why, so I have to repeat every sentence in broken English and the sound level of a Jet Engine?

    I am hands free anyway, phones jammed between ear and shoulder, brew in one hand and the others choking my lady penis.

    Do you where a bluetooth hearing aid? I bet you do.
  4. :) Not at all, i use the lead that came in the box with the phone, as the bluetooth headsets get routinely chucked out the window whilst im doing 90mph on the A1 while eating a roll and tossing myself off
  5. Just do it Cait, too many self rightous tw@ts around, they should mind their own fcuking business.
  6. Truckers think they are superior to other drivers, well they are to women drivers.
    Cait, women cant do driving AND talk on a mobile both at once.
  7. Surely it would be cheaper to buy a decent handsfree than possibly get caught and be given 3 points and a 60quid fine
  8. You'd think Tesco's would make a bit more of an effort with their marketing. I thought the damn thing only gave me a discount on my groceries, but now I know otherwise. Now, where can I can by the blue lights from?
  9. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Being a truckie gives one an automatic 'road police' certificate. It isn't based on the fact that they are better drivers than anyone else, but simply that they are always in the sh!t. They are in the sh!t over driving hours, falling asleep at the wheel, driving dangerously, not giving a fcuk about other drivers, going in the outside lane when they aren't allowed, having a 'boot' full of kosovans and having choking french girls in the footwell.

    Thus, being in the sh!t all the time with coppers and other road users gives them the right to be self righteous whenever they see anyone else who isn't a truckie doing the same thing.

    The best thing you can do in such circumstances is to veer your car straight under their wheels and laugh yourself silly as the truck bounces all over your car and then jack-knifes into the trees. There's nothing more spectacular to watch (at least from behind). :twisted:

    That'll fcuken learn'em!
  10. Cait, fcuk 'em all! If they were REAL truckies they would be conversing via CB radio, listening to country music and urging their good buddies to run smokey bears into parked buses full of orphans. My esteemed father was an interstate truckie in Australia and his only complaint was female hitch-hikers who only took one leg out of their jeans,
  11. I don't want to generalise but all truck drivers are serial killers.

    Every one of them.

    It's a bit much to assume the moral high ground, when you've been belting hookers with a ball pein for ten years.

    The thing that really makes me chuckle about them, is their perceived connection with Native American Indian culture. I've driven past loads of trucks that have got a superbly spray painted image of someone like Sitting Bull adorning the rear of the cab.

    'Wow' I think, 'When I draw level with this guy, he's bound to look like Lou Diamond Phillips or something'

    But, of course, they always look like a cross between Stan Ogden and Chubby Brown. And what's with the fcuking nameplate in the front window?? Stop it. Nobody wants to know that 'Big Rab' is driving.

    As for you Cait, you're slacking. As well as your roster of activities whilst on the phone, I can add, filling out my timesheet, and having a shave. This should all be done at 120 miles an hour in freezing fog.
  12. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Don't forget to play with your tom tom and dig around in the dash for your sunglasses whilst shouting at the kids in the back who are screaming for you not to kill them and that they want their mummies and daddies.
  13. Rather than risk the wrath of other road users, or indeed a fine, why not simply buy a few homing pigeons?

    If you had for example a basket of pigeons trained to fly to each of the people you usually phone, you could still keep in contact without breaking the law. Simply write your message on a small piece of paper, attach it to the birds leg, then release the pigeon out of the window (max speed 85-90mph though or their feathers tend to blow off).

    Hope this helps
  14. The fine could in fact be as much as £1000 if the case goes to handsfree - a Jabra 500 - is clear as a bell, doesn't go in my ear and sits on the visor away from annoying transmission and air-con noises! Cost £60 - bargain.
  15. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I don't talk on the mobile while driving. What I do when the phone rings is to launch my car across any lanes I need to without indicating and then coming to a screeching, smoking stop (usually on the zig-zags outside some school or pedestrian crossing) and then have a half hour conversation before jamming my car back into the traffic again. Much safer.