Trouser trouble. Advice please.

#1
I was sitting next to a fantastically attractive woman this afternoon, who rubbed her legs against mine; nothing more than that, mind. It was a minor trifle, rather than a full-on 'Sancho Panza deliveryman with his knob stuck in the oven' scenario.

To my horror, I found that my trouser snake had extended down my leg. As there were children present, I decided not to stand up until everything was back 'in place'.

What's the best etiquette for hiding a stiffie?

I usually choose a well thumbed copy of the Spectator.
 
#2
I was sitting next to a fantastically attractive woman this afternoon, who rubbed her legs against mine; nothing more than that, mind. It was a minor trifle, rather than a full-on 'Sancho Panza deliveryman with his knob stuck in the oven' scenario.

To my horror, I found that my trouser snake had extended down my leg. As there were children present, I decided not to stand up until everything was back 'in place'.

What's the best etiquette for hiding a stiffie?

I usually choose a well thumbed copy of the Spectator.

Beat it down with a toffee hammer.
 
T

Tremaine

Guest
#7
If she looks as good as the one in this pic, I feel your pain. Don't worry , it's perfectly natural and we just can't claim we keep ferrets. Usually sorted by wearing six pairs of grollies and have a spoon in your pocket.
 

Attachments

#8
[video=youtube;D0EBIZahkig]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0EBIZahkig[/video]
I found that quite unhelpful, Heartface.

The trouble is now that it's happened, i get a stonk on simply by remembering her ankle on my leg. It wakes me up on the bus. Sainsbury's bog has a machine that sells 'Bromide Pills' alongside the jonnies.

Should I buy some? Or are they just placebos?
 
#10
Dear God, are you the sort that sleeps on a bus? Away with you and your sordid shenanigans, find solace with your White Lightening under a bridge somewhere.
 
#11
You know the rules Photo's or it didn't happen. But next time use the Times in Broadsheet makes it look like you have something to hide ;)
 
#12
Dear God, are you the sort that sleeps on a bus? Away with you and your sordid shenanigans, find solace with your White Lightening under a bridge somewhere.
White Lightning is for cunts. I prefer Thatcher's Somerset Cripplecock.

Er, which may explain my condition.

But it is a problem. And, entre nous, sometimes a bit of dribble pops out of the bell end and messes up my trouser crease.

There's something about a woman's ankle, perfectly formed, clad in gossamer dark stockings, housed in a red stilly, er....

wait one. (will only take 20 secs)
 
#14
As a bloke who spends a lot of time in the more salubrious areas of London the sight of finely fettled MILF often causes stirrings at inappropriate times, particularly when they're with their daughters. I endure.
 

Mr_Fingerz

LE
Book Reviewer
#17
I was sitting next to a fantastically attractive woman this afternoon, who rubbed her legs against mine; nothing more than that, mind. It was a minor trifle, rather than a full-on 'Sancho Panza deliveryman with his knob stuck in the oven' scenario.

To my horror, I found that my trouser snake had extended down my leg. As there were children present, I decided not to stand up until everything was back 'in place'.

What's the best etiquette for hiding a stiffie?

I usually choose a well thumbed copy of the Spectator.
Juat tuck it into your sock and limp.
 
#18
Juat tuck it into your sock and limp.
Yeah right! You are obviously over compensating.

What I usually do it rummage in my pocket for a flick knife and my ski mask.
 
#19
Have a wank. Not only will it relieve the immediate situation but it'll ensure you get banned from public transport and never need to face the same problem again.
 
#20
Yeah right! You are obviously over compensating.

What I usually do it rummage in my pocket for a flick knife and my ski mask.
What about the rohypnol or are you over that now.
 

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