Troops claim supernatural powers after pygmy sodomy

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by OldSnowy, May 10, 2009.

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  1. OldSnowy

    OldSnowy LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    My claim for News Article - and indeed Headline - of the year:

    Troops claim 'supernatural powers' after pygmy sodomy,21985,25455058-5005961,00.html

    From correspondents in Kigali, Rwanda

    May 09, 2009 09:30pm

    GOVERNMENT troops sodomised pygmies in March in the eastern Democratic Republic of Congo, believing they would gain supernatural powers, a regional rights group said.

    "Some soldiers from the 85th Brigade sodomised three male pygmies to gain supernatural powers and protection in Kisa village in Walikale territory,'' the Human Rights League of the Great Lakes said.

    "The village chief was stripped and (sodomised) in the presence of his wife, his children and daughter in-law.

    "The children in turn were stripped and raped in front of their father."

    It said armed groups in the region also abused the pygmies.

    Elderly citizens and children were also being raped by the armed groups and wayward FARDC soldiers in eastern DRC, it added.

    The pygmies live essentially as subsistence hunter-gatherers in the forests in the DRC's equatorial zones and have been targeted by militia groups in the past.

    Among the armed groups roaming the eastern part of Congo are the Rwandan Hutu Democratic Forces for the Liberation of Rwanda rebels.

    Some of its members are accused of being among the main perpetrators of Rwanda's 1994 genocide by Hutus against the Tutsi minority.

    The United Nations and global human rights organisations have accused the FDLR of engaging in mass murder, rape and pillage of locals' property.

    Now this is the sort of thing that gives Soldiers a bad name. Really it's a sad and sordid tale - but you've got to laugh just a bit (Well, I do, which probably says much about me).

    Mind you -and this is the important bit - they don't say whether or not it worked, do they? Perhaps we wouldn't need CBA and Mastiff if this one passes the acceptance tests. I can just imagine the ITDU asking for Volunteers for this programme.........
  2. Bit tricky to setup a double blind, pier reviewed trial mind. The next best headline this year could come when the boffins publish their findings in New Scientist
  3. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    I read the book 'Shake hands with the devil' by Lt/Gen Romeo Dallaire, the Canuck General down in Rwanda during the massacres.

    I first learned of this 'Third' tribe whilst reading the book and it appeared that they were left alone by both sides.

    I wonder if the Hutus have run out of Tutsis to kill and fancy having a go at the Pygmies this time.

    It hasn't gone away in Rwanda has it?
  4. If I recall correctly back in the day when we had an Empire one could get a game licence to shoot a Pygmy. Technically you could shoot the big 6!
  5. "And that M'lud is the case for the defence"
  6. If sodomising "little people" confers superpowers, MDN is Wolverine! 8O :D
  7. Ah well now, well now, well now, well now!

    If it's sodomising little people yer after I'm right for ye!

  8. You tease! :D
  9. The Royal Marines weren't on exercise there that week, where they?
  10. "Right! Let's go through it one more time: It's kill the MEN and rape the WOMEN - got it?!"

    "Yes Sarge!" :twisted:
  11. BrunoNoMedals

    BrunoNoMedals LE Reviewer

    Think about it... how many sailors have drowned in recent years? They all bugger each other, and now they don't (I would argue can't) drown. Proof positive. It's like a self-fulfilling training cycle mixed in with their R&R.
  12. Jeez, reading the thread title, I thought it was 3 Para mortars all over again....
  13. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Jesus Christ. Don't tell Jarrod!

  14. I don't know, but what I can confirm is that giving blow jobs to gnomes gets you thrown out of garden centres.
  15. sounds like a story about short arrses to me