Tricks on Housemate

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by stokerboy81, Sep 23, 2012.

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  1. One of the lads I live with is a real A*se...takes our beers without asking...shags his girlfriend noisily, and leaves general cr*p about the place. Thought of having a "quiet word", but don't want to look like a prick (well no more than ususal :))

    Just thought...there some little tricks I can play on him? He leaves his room unlocked when he's not there so could always get in...:evil:

    All suggestions welcome!

  2. Are you 14?
    • Like Like x 1
  3. You "live" with another male therefore you love sweaty bear sex.

    A good trick to play would involve you hanging yourself with a bootlace.
    • Like Like x 2
  4. You should cave his head in with a brick while he sleeps. Then do us all a favour and do the same to yourself.
  5. Sounds like a good bloke; you,however, sound like a mincing twat! Just saying, like.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Just make sure you shag your lass even more noisily, and more often than him. Let him know what it sounds like.
    • Like Like x 4
  7. Even better!!! 😃
  8. Rape and murder him. Then set yourself alight. You know you want to.
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  9. When he's out, sneak into his room, attach a rope to his light fitting and hang yourself, he will be stunned on his return and it will be a talking point for the rest of the term. You will be a legend, winner all round.
    • Like Like x 2
  10. H3

    H3 LE

    Easy one ... Petrol bomb his room ..... !!

    You'll both be homeless and no need to share your digs with him ..... Simples !
  11. I'm not feeling the love in the room.........

    P.S. OP, kill yourself.
    • Like Like x 2

  12. This isn't a problem, just talk to him.

    Go on, give him a good laugh and let him call you tosser!

    Then say, "Nah, I was only kidding! How about us going two's up on your squeeze. What with us being good mates and all that, you know sharing beers and stuff..."
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Shit in his bed, then roll around in it so it really gets all over the sheets

    That'll learn him
  14. Kill yourself in the most imaginative way possible, but (and here's the twist...) make it look like your housemate killed you. You escape your miserable life, and you get him sent down for murder.
  15. Move somewhere else

    Sent from my iPoop touch using ARRSE app
    • Like Like x 1