Tribute to Scotland

Tributes are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire country laughed itself to death.

The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.

Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets.

By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture.

Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They seemed to be at peace."

He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.

"It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."

Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm.

"He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet."

Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.
A shocking state of affairs and an economic disaster. Who now will work in the Scotch pie mines and which shipyard will launch pizza sized chip pans on the Clyde?

Of course if the Jocks are all dead, it was a game worth losing!
RIP Scotland.........

can we have your distilleries please.
At last, someone get on to the Chancellor and tell him he can drop income tax to 15% and we'll still have a bucket load of cash left over
Oh my god. Do you realise what this is going to do to the batter making industry?

Millions will be thrown out of work, massive lakes of unused batter will overflow thier containment vessels.

We're all dooomed, dooooooomed I tell ye!
With all these empty houses the English can finally move north, house prices in the south east will drop, and more importantly all English can say they are new Scots and be welcomed the world over as a friendly people instead of a bunch of ?
Which is what they have always wanted to be in the first place !!

Laugh............ ?? I nearly
kissed an engerlander ......

So now we can demolish Hadrians wall. Where do we get our shortcake biscuits in the future?

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