In the Tramshed just up from the station in Woolwich. Early 80's so the Fundation (Hale & Pace plus ...) are on stage doing their thing when one of the guys I'm drinking with suddenly hits the floor and does a good impresion of someone looking for a contact lens. I know he doesn't wear said lenses so I ask one of the other drinkers what's going on.

He says "see that big guy over there, looking for someone". I look over and it's easy to see who he means - hard as nails - but can't work out what that's got to do with Dave suddenly going blind.

"Well he's SAS"

As this is the 80's and the Hereford Gun Club ain't a literary agent's wet dream then, I say "How the hell can you know that - it's classified?".

"Simple - Dave's shagging his missus"!

(Name's changed to protect the guilty)
It's difficult to be really funny when you're making gazillions of dosh - bit of a problem relating to the audience.

Remember Joe - the piano player? It was his show. He always started by playing something classical which somehow morphed/degenerated into some knees-up version of a kid's show theme tune.

H&P were pretty much third string as I remember - maybe that's because, like all the squaddies in the place, we all lusted after Vicki da Silver! Ah, sweet memories indeed.

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