Training courses for men....

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by Forces_Sweetheart, Jan 15, 2003.

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  1. Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents,  each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants only

    Topic 1 -. How to Fill up the Ice Cube Trays Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

    Topic 2 - The Toilet Paper Roll: Do they grow on the Holders?  Round Table Discussion.

    Topic 3 - Is it Possible to Urinate by Lifting the Seat up and Avoid Spraying the Floor/walls and Nearby Bathtub?
    Group Practice.

    Topic 4 - Fundamental differences Between the Laundry basket and the Floor. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

    Topic 5 - The After-dinner Dishes and cutlery : Can They Levitate And Fly into the Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.

    Topic 6 - Loss of Identity: Losing the Remote to Your Significant  Other. Helpline Support and Support Groups

    Topic 7 - Learning How to Find Things, Starting with Looking in the  Right Place Instead of Turning the House Upside down While Screaming. Open Forum.

    Topic 8 - Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful to Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tape.

    Topic 9 - Real Men Ask for Directions when lost. Real Life Testimonials.

    Topic 10 - Learning to say sorry: Sign Language and Phonetics practical  guidance.

    Topic 11 - Learning to Live: Basic DifferencesBetween Mother and Wife. Online Class and Role Playing.

    Topic 12 - How to Be the Ideal Shopping Companion: Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and BreathingTechniques.

    Topic 13 - How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries, Other Important Dates and Calling when you're going to Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered
  2. ::)now then!! now then!!!

    get yourself a cup of tea and have a sit down, those stomach cramps most be murder every month pet !!
  3. MDN and ORG need to sign up for all the classes ;D
  4. Don't do this course, it sets them (females) to get rid of you off your sofa, and then we will be expected to do something drastic like doing things all by ourselves without supervision, even worse leaving us alone with (grand)children, etc...
    it's a conspiracy!!!
  5. I hear this course is run by women, so i am expecting the prices/running costs to be totally sky high.

    I think i will give it a miss and instead by myself a new car or maybe even a new house in kensington ....... ;D
  6. woopert

    woopert LE Moderator

    OI BIRD!

    If you've got time to write this crap while going from the kitchen to the bedroom, you are clearly not working hard enough!
  7. oh Lord, i was nearly crying - either with laughter or relief..........what an ace idea..............can I bags the next Top of the Course student??!!
  8. It was sent to me by a bloke - he found it very funny.

    My fav is the remote control loss counselling...
  9. [​IMG]

    Stop getting ideas above your station young lady, it will only make your ears bleed.

    2 sugars and make it bloody snappy
  10. F-S, are you a man hater?
  11. The lads are running scared because they know they would all fail every single course ;D
  12. there wouldn't be an end of course test as the ladies are to dim to remember to write one, even if they did remember, the answers would involve a trivial debate, a trip around the houses and the final conclusion being, what a waist of skin they are and should be shackled to the oven & sink ;D

    Whats the useless bit of skin round a tw$t called?

    A woman ;D
  13. If there was a test, the first question would be:-

    1. Do I look fat in this?

  14. Im all for a bit of cross dressing

    Ive shaved my legs, tucked my hampton between my legs.

    Anyone got any size 11 stillettoes.