Tragic Loss - RIP

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cait, Jun 24, 2008.

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  1. It is with much sadness & regret that I have to report the tragic death of a much loved family member.

    Christened Molly Isobel Sparkle on 01/01/06 he was brave to the end, his life although short was a colourful one. He shared his one bed gaff with his lover Patrick Colin Tractor (also christened 01/01/06). Whilst many may have heaped scorn on their same sex relationship, we just accepted them for who they were. Molly struggled with his transgender issues and with his lack of female genitalia so did Pat, dispite their obvious love for each other it wasn't enough to save Molly. He couldn't take the rejection from the Vets when he requested a gender reasignment (apparently it isn't a common practice in guinea pigs as it is in soldiers), it was the final straw..........

    I awoke at 0600hrs this morning to the screams of my 4 year old child, Molly was dead, he'd hanged himself.........


    By the time I'd got to his cage a crowd had already started to gather, I pushed my way through to get a look........


    I ushered the grief ghouls away, got him down, out my BCDT book and assessed the sitiuation............he was dead.


    I gave him a medical poke with a pencil to confirm my diagnosis...............yep dead.


    A sad waste of a promising young life except for the love we gave where was the support for him?

    His funeral is scheduled for 1300hrs, you are all invited to join me in a minutes silence.

    Thank you.
  2. Must be a slow news day :lol:
  3. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Feed him to the dog!
  4. RIP mate stand easy etc a running wheel in hamster valhalla is waiting for you and so on
  5. Rest in piece, loyal valiant loved rodent.

    May flocks of swallows escort you to Heavens ATZ where angels will meet you for your final journey.

    Cait, I can't begin to imagine what you are going through now (apart from a tub of pringles) and my heart is extended to you and my shoulder there to absord you tears and snot.

    Its disgusting and outrageous in this modern age and so called 'free western' community that this Guinea pig saw no alternative other than to string himself up.

    Cait - Perhaps crass of me at this time, but were there indications? Had he been recently arrested? Had he been gambling? Had he been spraying is tranny seed elsewhere? was in in financial trouble? whens the inquest? Are you feeling vulnerable enough to let me pie your anus? Who are the pall bearers?
  6. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    R.I.P. Molly. A sad loss to all who knew and loved him. I shall be saying a prayer to whichever sky-fairy hasn't crossed me off their invite list.

    Gone, but not forgotten [sob]

    I hope Molly had a donor card - those dolls looked badly in need of a fur coat.
  7. Auction off its body!!!!!

    Do it :D :D :D
  8. Seems like only yesterday that Molly was christened and accepted into Caits family. The greiving must be unbearable, and I can only join in prayer that the usual bandwagon will fire up and pick up the grief ghouls when they finish pie club.

    Personally, I won't let his passing go unmarked. I will be starting a petition, starting an online councelling clinic, bidding on auto trader for an extra bandwagon (with upgraded suspension) and reach out to support other small household mammals in their plight for sexual equality and transgender acceptance.
  9. Well he was feeling a little depressed, bimbling round the cage, not doing very much, apart from his tranny issues he had to also contend with being ginger - god life can be cruel <said biting knuckles>.

    He did leave a note:

    I shall be the main pall bearer, he was only a small chap.......

    I just cant help thinking things would have been different if he could have talked about his issues......
  10. My condolences, however well meant, are tinged by a touch of guilt - no i had no involvement in Molly's sudden departure......

    It's just that.....

    I haven't laughed so much in ages :D Thank You Molly
  11. But you can't slow march in built up shoes?

    I've called the Padre, he said 'I'm not going' but he did read me out a passage from the bible to help me in my greif.

    'The lord has space on his heavenly shelf
    for a rat that hung itself
    No gender issues have home there
    for, on earth, no one cared
    without malice and without sin
    Cait lobbed you in the kitchen bin
    For a halo - a tomato skin
    You aren't alone on this final trip
    A mouse also cashed in his chips
    Welcome once more to holy heaven
    God bless you ratty, you rolled a seven.
  12. Would anyone like to help me in setting up an association for gender confused guinea pigs, we can campaign for better awareness of guinea pigs with transexual issues and education and councilling so this tragic event never happens again.

    Too many young guinea pigs have died because they have no one to turn to.
  13. Poor little thing: What do you think that it died from? To me, it looks like it may have been starved of oxygen from being in an enclosed space.

    btw - The poem's a work of genius
  14. Cait, don't bury the little fellow/ette...make a crude marmalade from his remains and then spread it across your flower beds.

    Next spring beautiful flowers of a vaguely Dutch ancestry will pop up everywhere. After all, everyone knows tulips come from Hamster-jam...

    Yes on the outside I am mocking your sadness but I am probably crying inside, if I could be arrsed to look...trans-gender rodents have as much right to wander God's green earth as Richard "You will burn in sulphur, atheistic pig" Dawkins...(in my and the Pope's humble opinions).
  15. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Would it be unspeakably crass at this traumatic time to suggest ramming a knitting needle up his arse and using him to mop the dishes?

    RIP Molly. Always in our pots.