TRAFFIC WARDENS :x

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by numbered_3, Jul 5, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Last night i had the privelidge of taking a young lady out for what was meant to be a few drinks,
    As i'd driven and couldn't find a parking space i decided to park on a single yellow line which being after 1900 was perfectly fine.
    I was slowly corrupted and it didn't take much for 1 drink to lead to another, especially as i have the breaking strain of a Kitkat!
    By closing time i was well and truly bladdered as was my young lady friend, so i decided to leave the car on the single yellow and get a bus into the town centre to carry on trying to have my wicked way!
    the drink stopped flowing at around 0200 and I had until 0700 to get back to the car without getting a ticket.....'easy' i thought to myself but this was not to be so!
    I eventually staggered through my front door at 0430 with the full intention of waking up at 0600 and going on a gentle run to pick up the car, this idea proved extremely difficult once 0600 had arrived, and as my alarm went off on my mobile it was promptly launched across the living room floor silencing the offensive item.
    0730 arrives and i think to myself 'Sh*t!' as i was still laid on the sofa.
    I soon calmed down got into my running kit and set off at around 0745 hoping that the traffic wardens hadnt actually set out that early. Because Traffic Wardens are council employee's and are concequently lazy b*stards.
    So its now 0800 i'm one hour late but i've sweated the vast quantity of alcohol out my body, as i turned the corner i expected to see my nice blue vectra sat where i had parked it.
    It was gone the Council fcukers had gone one better and not only ticketed it but towed it away!
    FCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUK!!!!!
    Well to cut this long story short i eventually retrieved it and had to part with 200 quid, suffice to say i am not a happy bunny!
    I'm sat here now wanting to inflict extreme violence against these tow away drivers and the rest of the Traffic Control world.
    I've considered driving down there parking on a double yellow, marching into their offices tying them all up and removing digits with a rusty leatherman so they can never subject us motorists to expenses again!
    AND THE WORST THING ABOUT IT!

    I didn't even get a shag!

    Miscellaneous F! I'm gonna resign myself to the fact that leaves nearly over and its gonna be another couple of months of tommy tanking until i can try again! :x[align=left][/align][align=left]
     
  2.  
  3. numbered_3, you didn't get a shag but you still got lucky, lucky to have your licence and lucky not to get banged up.
     
  4. Its a shame they didnt crush your car instead. If the sign says "Shift it by 07.00!" what do you expect. I bet you park in disabled spaces too dont you?
     
  5. Is it possible to lose your license or get arrested for parking offences? I know you can if you don't pay the fine etc.
     
  6. Mongs are allowed to park in disabled spaces - don't be mean.

    If the hours were til 0700 and you arrived 0800 it's your own fcuking fault - it you'd said "0702" or something then fair enough, a bit harsh, but it's your fault for being a lazy cnut now £200 lighter
     
  7. Shut up crabby you big wet schlong taster, you can't even drive never mind be in a postion to do anything other than scrape dog dirt from pensioners shoes.

    crimp your fingers off and nail your neck to a trap door, soap dodging, student, bot scoffing backslider
     
  8. Spanish_Dave

    Spanish_Dave LE Good Egg (charities)

    think about it, drinking till 2.30 and driving 6 hours later chod
     
  9. MDN - Fcuk off
     
  10. [​IMG]

    NO YOU DULL CNUT
     
  11. Youd have still been well over the limit anyway. Good thing your car wasnt there you irresponsible Muppet! Take a taxi next time you cheapskate.
     
  12. OI!!! Don't knock Tom Baker
     
  13. MDN - Crabby... BOX!

    or Fcuk away boring Cnuts!!
     
  14. Cheapskate,
    I parted with the money within the hour! I even gave the miserable barstewards at the vehicle compound a smile!
    As for being irresponsible...yes occassionally! and lazy...not normally but, i think im entitled to be on my time off.
    I just needed to vent my anger :D
     
  15. I've got something you haven't got............................£200. Ha ha ha ha !!!!