Trade training one-liners...

#1
What little bits of advice can you remember from trade training? You know, those pithy little one-liners that they used to throw at us... I'll start the ball rolling:

"Prophets not historians" (a certain Antipodean officer in Ashford)

"Murder your darlings" (ditto)

"Question even your most basic assumptions"

Was chuckling about it the other week with someone - amazed we can still remember them to be honest!
 
#2
feck...that was a long time ago and I was alseep during most of it..

"Don't worry if you can't remember it, they'll explain it all when you get to your Unit"

"on the job training, that's what it's all about"

mind you we didn't have TDAs and smart things like computers..lol
 
#3
Can't remember any specific quotes - it was a long time ago, but I did used to enjoy the slow moments when the DS would regale us with tales of Spider Aldridge and the TATRA truck incident.

Once when some civvy friends and I decided to go away for the weekend to listen to a popular musical act of the time we decided to go in my friends van (which bore a remarkable resemblance to the Mystery Machine) we were sat round in the pub trying to decide what odds and ends we needed to take. I had a rare and brief moment of inspiration and announced,

"What we need fellas is a Battle-box!"

Cue many sideways glances and odd looks. I got my coat..............

I still regularly give the game away at work too when, for instance, someone asks me what to do with a bit of kit and I look up and shout "mag to grid mate"
 
#4
2 spring to mind,

"Intelligence is all about prediction" a phrase that was poo-poohed by the previous D Int.

"Security must make sense" an old chesnut still being bandied about today. Although having seen a Sy report recently (treat, tolerate, transfer. What the F*** is that all about?) That one-liner is as bollo**s now as it was then! Bring back MAS, when a unit simply did as it was told and conformed to the manual!!!
 
#5
Op_Int_and_Spy said:
2 spring to mind,

"Intelligence is all about prediction" a phrase that was poo-poohed by the previous D Int.

"Security must make sense" an old chesnut still being bandied about today. Although having seen a Sy report recently (treat, tolerate, transfer. What the F*** is that all about?) That one-liner is as bollo**s now as it was then! Bring back MAS, when a unit simply did as it was told and conformed to the manual!!!
Was just about to say Sy must make sense but you beat me to it there.

Who remembers ROBoT

Routes
Objectives
Boundaries
Timings

Don't quite know where vital int fitted into that one but it still sticks with me to this day.
 
#7
yeah, robot served me well over the years, especially for impromptu briefs.

i must admit i particularly liked the "prophets not historians" one. or as the alternative explanation i used to give to my lads goes -

"any f*cker can tell you what's happened already. we earn our money telling them what is gonna happen next..."
 
#8
Also neatly summed up by two short but potentially (they were on my A3) sphincter relaxing words...






"so what"
 
#10
From the Corps Training Officer 1975.....from the A3 conduct of a security investigation lesson

" always ask yourself.....am I empowered to deal???"

In a flash, 28 years suddenly shot before my eyes, on looking back I recognised many who were frequently not empowered to deal with those investigations. <Myself included.........>

thankfully sometime later, around EPC (A) , it was also taught that "selection and maintenance of the aim" was a key principle of war.

Alas many of those historic case files were shredded in the great arnhem block weeding programme of 1993, others, archived to Monitor.

if only they could have restored the data from back-up :cry:
 
#11
"I don't give a fcuk if you've crossed the Weiser, you cnut! We know it's fcuking deep in September. Fcuk off."

~ "Tiny" L******* makes a pithy and constructive comment on Veg's first briefing on the Combat Int component of his A3 Int & Sy (V).

V!
 
#12
Op_Int_and_Spy said:
2 spring to mind,

"Intelligence is all about prediction" a phrase that was poo-poohed by the previous D Int.

"Security must make sense" an old chesnut still being bandied about today. Although having seen a Sy report recently (treat, tolerate, transfer. What the F*** is that all about?) That one-liner is as bollo**s now as it was then! Bring back MAS, when a unit simply did as it was told and conformed to the manual!!!
Amen to that, God I miss that book, which makes me incredibly sad I suppose. When it dissappeared, suddenly we no longer did security, we were now "risk managing" (MOD speak for cutting corners); we didn't have Units any more, overnight they turned into customers. Fortunately, I work in an area where we largely ignore the MBMM, and I can take great delight in telling senior officers that it isn't their risk to manage.

As for phrases remembered from training, I was always told to start an Int briefing by asking if those present were familiar with the ground. 3 months later, and by now out of training and in my first real unit, I asked this very question to the Bde commander when giving my first briefing. Oh how I laughed on the way to the guardroom. Bloody stupid instructors.
 
#13
Slightly_Nasty said:
Op_Int_and_Spy said:
I was always told to start an Int briefing by asking if those present were familiar with the ground. 3 months later, and by now out of training and in my first real unit, I asked this very question to the Bde commander when giving my first briefing. Oh how I laughed on the way to the guardroom. Bloody stupid instructors.
Brilliant! But some never learn. The SGT i/c a desk at 122 Int Sect once started a briefing to the Bde Comd by explaining in detail the Bn TAORs. The Bde Comd stared at him, making the SGT twitch and shudder and hop from foot to foot. All in all, as good a show as many at the Raymond Revuebar.

Slightly off-topic but on a similar note, a certain G2Int at I(BR)Corps (I think, correct me if it was someone else there) had a sign over his desk proclaiming that "Security Will Not Be the French Letter on the Prick of Progress in THIS Branch", which I liked. At his farewell he presented to the Int Sect a plaque on which was mounted a life-sized carved wooden hand with two fingers raised and the apocryphal "Listen ye not to he whose talk is of bullocks" verse scribed beneath.
 
#16
DigitalGeek said:
Yes, but it is quite often ignored.
You're not kidding either! 8O
 
#17
My favourite one liner from training was 'eating's cheating'. I shouldn't of listened to that one. Ooh, my head.
 
#18
A long time ago when I joined the RAF,I was at RAF Swinderby on my basic training & the was a lad called Davy H,Who was from Dublin.A real Father Dougal type.
Anyway,we were asked to define the 'need to know' principal & it was Davie's turn.
So Davy stood up,thought & said
" If you need to know,you'll know....If you dont ned to know,you wont know,so dont ask!!"
The Instructor was speechless.Dont think he could have said it better himself!!!
Spike
 
#20
CRmeansCeilingReached said:
Regarding giving int briefs:

"never never never never never bullsh*t."

hmmmm. do they still teach that one? ;)
In todays politically correct society this is now known as "if you don't know, say you don't know" and is always, always followed by "I'll find out and get back to you". Although usually a staff officer is far to busy to care and will never ask you at a later date what the outcome was! If he does though and you haven't bothered to find out, you don't want to be that first tour lance-jack..................

By the way CR, were you a wedgehead in a previous life? Or were you our man in Chatham in 98?
 

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