This weekend, when I get home from Auld Reekie, I am going to take all of my tour tee-shirts and burn them. This partly because I am a confirmed and practising arsonist but also because I do not want them to fall into the hands of Walts. So if you see a black plume arising in the West on Saturday, spare a moment to think of the git who though "Hard Rock Cafe Banja Luka" was side-splittingly funny enough to be printed on 1000s of Fruit of the Loom and knocked out at 10 DM a throw. Or indeed the idiots (erm...oh dat's me!..)who bought one. Think not too unkindly of the troop sergeant major in 1984 who insisted we have witty comments deriding the parachute regiment and airborne forces on our Cdo bty's tee-shirt...which arrived just before we went off on deployment alongside 1 PARA...made PT a bit more exciting and contributed to impressive times when doing personal phys.