Toughest decision of my life..what to join??

Discussion in 'Join the Army - Regular Soldier Recruitment' started by Ozzy93, Jun 10, 2011.

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  1. Hi fellas, browsed the forum for a bit and decided to sign up. I joined my local TA branch recently and really enjoy it, I'm still at college and joined TA out of boredom more than anything to be honest lol cos I want to go in the Army but after I finish my Public Services college course, might sound a bit selfish sacking the TA off at some point but I want to be a regular soldier, that's my dream. My Dad was in the RAMC so I've lived elsewhere and had a military upbringing. In the last 6 months I've been on both an Army infantry and Royal Marines Look at Life Course, got a lot of respect for the RM but without being half-hearted and lack of belief, I honestly don't believe I could completely the 32 weeks traning they do plus I want to get in the Army as fast as I can, first attempt, no denying the challenge that that will put upon me.

    Sorry to blab on, onto the main point. I'm lucky to be naturally quite fit but I've always worried about my weight, or lack of, I'm only 5ft8 and 9.5 stone so I'd need to put some weight on before going Regular. My 1.5 miler is done in around 9.20 mins now with around 60 press ups and 70 sit ups and 11 pull ups (being precise and all that lol) The main challenge in front of me is what to join :| I scored 68 on my BARB test for TA and I have 9 GCSEs so got quite a lot of options, I'm looking at the PARAs at the moment cos as dangerous as their job is (with all respect to every other force) I'd love to be the best I can be and the adventure that would bring, I'm a bit of an adrenaline junky and don't shy away from stuff. Maybe it would be better to get a trade though?? I want to do my 22 years to be honest, I already know that. Maybe taking things too far at this point in time but a bit of a daft question, what would you join in the Army if you had another chance or reccomend? Or what do you think I'd be suited to with the characteristics I've put down?

    Sorry to drone on so much, any help would be much appreciated :)
    • Bullshit Bullshit x 1
  2. The_IRON will be along soon to put you straight. You may have to wait awhile though, he's got school in the morning. If anyone gives you some really witty answers, take them with a pinch of salt and be nice.
  3. WatchingWater

    WatchingWater Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    It's good you have the running nailed; that's the hard part! The thing you have to remember (especially) about the paras is the weight you'll be carrying on your back. I think it'll be a good idea to gain a bit of core muscle weight before anything else.
  4. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    sounds like you just need to get stronger rather than bulk up if that makes sense, just aim for the fitness requirements to start with. the rest you learn on your cadre anyway as they deliberately pace it to fitten you if you arent quite there. if you can comfortably run three miles without dying then thats probably the main one

    no amount of gym work prepares you for man carrying so there will be a British Mil Fitness near you or a college circuit training class which would be cheaper and do you more good.

    we've had a few of these past few days do look out the threads for the other advice and download links
  5. I'm certainly no expert but I would have thought if the op didn't fancy the Royal Marine course, then would the Paras be a good idea!
  6. There's always the RAF Regiment.
  7. Go and speak to all services. No point in missing any out if you are unsure. I'd even go and talk to the RM if I was you.

    Once you've seen all of them, take your gut feeling. Forget about how hard the training will be because all the training will be hard in its own way.

    Hope it goes well
  8. Both the Paras and the Marines are equally difficult to get into - although they will both say otherwise. What else do you like doing? Phis your thing? What are your grades (since everybody seems to get about 8 A* on their exam results these days, even the window lickers, then this might be a slightly useless question). What do you want to do afterwards? Etc Etc. Think about it. I'd say go Infantry to begin with, mostly because I think everybody should have to do at least 6 months infantry before moving to a corps - even the AGC.

    Oh and are you an active member of the naturist community and a keen collector of "Niche" sexual encounters. If not then the Marines might not be the one for you.
  9. What are you doing with the TA? Infantry?
  10. What to join. I've knocked up a series of questions?

    Making sure you join the correct Regiment or Service in HM Armed Forces. A series of questions designed to find you the right home

    1) Were you bullied at school?
    Yes – Question 41
    Yes, a lot, but I hit them in the back of the head with a stick when they weren’t looking and/or told on them to Sir– Royal Military Police
    No – Go to question 2

    2) Do you have a Niche collection of Pornography involving men, donkeys and masturbating on peoples feet/faces that is illegal in over 80 countries?
    Yes Go to question 3
    No Go to Question 4

    3) Are you an active member of the naturist community and like to get Bollocky buff at any and all opportunities?
    Yes – Royal Marines
    No Go to question 4

    4) Does the idea of drinking gin, pinkie out, with the Vanuatu Vice Deputy Undersecretary for Sanitation excite you?
    Yes – Royal Naval Officer
    No – Go to question 5

    5) Do you cry when your mum takes your Ipod away?
    Yes – Royal Naval Rating
    No – Go To question 6

    6) Do you like the idea of fighting but hate the idea of walking there
    Yes – Go to question 7
    No, I quite like walking actually – Go to Question 8
    I’m a lover, not a fighter – Go to question 21
    Fighting’s not really my sort of thing – Go to question 12

    7) Do you spend the national debt of Paraguay on Hair care products?
    Yes- Army Air Corps
    No – Go to question 8

    8) What colour are the majority of your trousers?
    Blue Jean – Go to question 12
    Tweed and covered in cow shit – Royal Tank Regiment
    Yellow or Red – Go to question 9

    9) Do you have a shoot, a Red Jacket and the ability to say Form in an annoyingly loud voice?
    Yes – Go to question 11
    No – Go to question 10
    What’s a shoot? – Go to question 32

    10) Does your House have a number on it?
    Yes – Royal Tank Regiment
    No – Go to Question 11

    11) How Many Acres is your shoot?
    0-100 Acres 9th/12th Lancers, Light Dragoons
    100-500 Acres Royal Scots Dragoon Guards, Royal Dragoon Guards, Queens Royal Hussars, Kings Royal Hussars
    500-1000 Acres Queens Royal Lancers, Queens Dragoon Guards
    Buckinghamshire – Blues and Royals/Life Guards

    12) Are you an Agoraphobic with a large collection of BIC Biros?
    Yes - Adjutant Generals Corps
    No - Go to question 13

    13) Have you ever been barred from your pub for drinking a pint of piss?
    Yes – Parachute Regiment
    No – Go to question 14

    14) Do you spend every waking hour plotting about how to destroy your enemies?
    Yes – Go To question 15
    No – Go to Question 16

    15) Does the plan to destroy your enemies involve?
    A) An elaborate highly interconnected series of time lines, a honey trap, incriminating photos, a hundred weight of maps, a car battery and a trip for your enemy to Guantanamo bay never to see sunlight again – Intelligence Corps
    B) Tabbing 150 miles and then stabbing them in the face – SAS
    C) Sitting in a ditch, defecating into a bag and then calling fast air to do your malleting for you – Special Reconnaissance Regiment.

    16) Do you hear voices in your head?
    Yes – Go to question 17
    No – Go to question 18

    17) Do these voices tell you to kill people?
    Yes - Go to question 13, you lying bastard, you have drunk a pint of piss.
    No – Royal Army Chaplains Department

    18) Ever been to the Vauxhall Tavern?
    Yes – Go to Question 19
    No – Go to Question 25

    19) Do you like looking at your abs in a mirror a lot?
    Yes – Go to Question 20
    No – Go to question 26

    20) Are you reading this or is somebody reading it to you?
    I’m reading it - Media Operations Group
    Uggg – Royal Army Physical Training Corps

    21) Can you take a pulse?
    Yes – Royal Army Medical Corps
    No - Go to question 22

    22) Are you in possession of a Vagina?
    Yes – Go to Question 24
    No – Go To question 23

    23) Can you only be arsed to learn a couple of pages of Grey’s Anatomy and apathetic to the misery of others?
    Yes – Royal Army Dental Corps
    No – Go To question 24

    24) Did you dream of owning a Pony when you were a child, and had every one of Thelwell’s books?
    Yes – Royal Army Veterinary Corps. Ohhhh Ponies!
    No – Queen Alexandra’s Royal Army Nursing Corps

    25) Does your house need stilts, and is your lunch still alive at the moment?
    Yes – Royal Gurkah Rifles
    No - Go to question 26

    26) Do you like Tourists and Kiwi Parade Gloss
    Yes – Grenadier, Irish, Coldstream, Scots or Welsh Guards
    No – Go to question 27

    27) Can you steal a car?
    Yes – Duke of Lancaster’s Regiment
    No – Go to question 28

    28) Can you count to 10?
    Yes – Go to Question 31
    No – Pioneer Corps

    29) Did you own a set of Meccano and a membership to the school chess club
    Yes – Go To question 30
    No – Go to question 35

    30) What did you build with the Meccano
    Bridges – Royal Engineers
    A car that regularly fell to pieces – Royal Electrical & Mechanical Engineers

    31) Do you have a pet bird?
    Yes – Royal Regiment of Fusiliers
    No – Go to question 32

    32) Do you wonder what sorcery makes a car moves without the horse to pull it?
    Yes – Royal Anglian Regiment
    No – Go to question 37

    33) Are your trousers
    Made from Natutal Fibres – Ever Considered Sandhurst?
    Polyester – Go to question 34

    34) What sport do you watch alone because you have no friends to speak of?
    Rugby – Royal Artillery
    Football – Go to Question 35

    35) Do you like the feel of canvas, are you allergic to sunlight, and plan on sticking Dipoles up for 30 years before spending your retirement working for BT?
    Yes – Royal Corps of Signals
    No – Question 36

    36) Where would you rather spend your time?
    Tesco, Aldi or Sainsburys – RLC
    Running across the M25 for a dare – RLC High Threat EOD Operator

    37) Do you put the words Lovely and “isit” at the start and end of each sentence, and consider Charlotte Church a bit of a looker?
    Yes – Royal Welsh
    No, she’s a pig – Question 38

    38) Do you consider the Chip a vegetable?
    Yes – Royal Regiment of Scotland
    No – Question 39

    39) Yorkshire is?
    A) The home of all things beautiful and great, whose people are honest trustworthy folk and God himself looks down benignly and favours them – Yorkshire Regiment
    B) Surrounded by Lincolnshire and Nottinghamshire to the south, Durham and Cumbria to the north – Question 40

    40) My girlfriends skirt is…
    A) Something so short you can see her fanny – Coldstream guards or Yorkshire Regiment
    B) Something she picked up in the last season sales at Whistles – Mercian or Princess of Wales’s Royal Regiment
    C) Girlfriend? – They tend to be put off by my collection of knives and guns and ammo magazines – Small Arms School Corps.

    41) Did you find a penny whistle in your Kinder surprise egg?
    Yes – Corps of Army Music
    No – Question 42

    42) Do you love yourself so much it actually causes you physical pain?
    Yes – Fast Jet Royal Air Force
    No – Royal Air Force Ground Crew

    Hope this helps - Travelgall
    • Like Like x 5
  11. Not at school Slugster, time off for good behaviour.

    Only you can really know what job you want to do, as someone asked...what do you do in TA??

    Remember you can do any job/trade then later on in your career do ALL ARMS PARA or BOOTIE course so get best of both worlds.

    Have a look at Recruiters threads and a lot of your questions have already been answered really, remember YOU WILL have to do ADSC again plus a few extras. Once you started the process you have to have a 203 Special Enlistment Authority cleared first (need letter off your CO aswell) so have a look at Rejoiner/Re-enlisters thread as similar questions have been answered before on TA to Reg by myself and others.

    68 on the TA BARB (will have to retake again)plus if you have C grades English language , maths and science will open up a lot of jobs but only problem is weight/strenght/robustness could be an issue for jobs in RE/REME etc...........but your Recruiter will advise best.

    Have a good look around......its not a straight forward if your in TA youll make Regs easily as seen some lads whos done a few years TA fail ADSC for Regs. Have a good scout round the forumn though as lots of your questions have been answered before.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. The TA unit I'm in is a tank regiment, part of the RAC
  13. Change your call sign to bell end, a guy came and asked advice, this aint the naafi you ******* **** eyed ******.
  14. @The IRON.

    Superb answer and advice, this isn't the naafi so I mean that with all heart. Nice to know some others on here can distinguish between twat reply and honest open and informative ones.