Totally Gobsmacked...

Discussion in 'Lonely Hearts' started by Litotes, Feb 28, 2009.

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  1. My car dumped me on the side of the road today (there is an analogy there but this is not the bitter-and-twisted forum... so just bear with me and all will become clear....). I brought it to a halt in good order at the junction of a side road with a busy A road.

    It quickly became clear that sitting inside the car was not a good idea because the locals were used to taking that particular corner at 40mph and were a little confused by the presence of a car that was not there yesterday or the day before. So, I climbed out, rang the AA and walked the chilly verge for the 80-90 minutes it took for the very nice man to arrive.

    In those 80-odd minutes, 6 people stopped to offer help and I would like to thank those people. But it was the gender balance that surprised me; five ladies and one gentleman.

    Now, I hadn't shaved and I wasn't dressed particularly well; jeans, polished shoes (on a grassy verge???), pullover and a fleece. I am in the prime of my life (no sniggers from the back row) and could easily be taken for a thug on day-release! So, why was the gender balance so wildly in favour of the ladies?

    As I was mulling over that question, it then occurred to me that in just over an hour, I had talked to more ladies than I had at any time, other than at work, over the last 5 years. All had smiled at me and all had indicated that they were there to help me, if I needed help.

    Have I accidently discovered a new form of meeting ladies? Have I been wasting my time chatting up Dale and other Arrsers in Chat, or slipping down to the local waterfront for highly priced drinks and curries, when I should have just bought a high-vis vest and started, cough, breaking down more often? And is there a better class of Good Samaritans in certain areas?

  2. 1. Your car isn't red with a prancing horse on the front by chance is it?
    2. Was there a sign signifying "Dogging" anywhere near you?
    3. Did the females seem to wear latex, nylon and short skirts and ask for some cash?

    If you answered no to the above questions, i'll give it a go later. :wink:
  3. The fact that you have managed to post this thread proves you didn't accept any of these offers of "help".

    It is very hard to post on arrse when you are stripped naked and chained to the cellar wall in some mad bints sex slave fantasy world.

    So think your self lucky.............or maybe not?
  4. "No" to all of those, Matty!

  5. I was awaiting the AA's "very nice man"; accepting other hospitality would have been impolite.

    However, you have a point and I realise that today could have been my lucky day - rather than my unlucky day facing a bill of £2k for a new gearbox!

  6. I am very sexist on this one.

    I'm a bloke who will stop for a lady with a flat tyre, but if I see a bloke with a flat by the side of the road, I think fcuk you, cant change it, well should have learned to.
  7. A stick insect on a car window? And??
  8. Obviously aiding Litotes on a tyre change.
  9. Thugs don't wear pullovers or polished shoes. No sure which decade you consider 'the prime of life' but you sound like you dress like someone's dad.

    These women clearly thought you looked harmless. Alas, that means they'll never want to sleep with you. :)
  10. Yikes!Dont listen,ladies love a man with white hair :p
  11. Did you ask for their phone numbers to thank them properly once the AA had fixed your car? How many follow up dates did you manage to get out of this 'breaking down event'?
  12. 20 years ago my 1958 Austin A30 van overheated on the M25 during a hot, busy summer weekend. I too waited on the hard shoulder for the AA. One young lady about my age stopped to ask if I needed help. I said all was in hand but she sat chatting with me for well over an hour. To my utter surprise she asked me for my phone number, being a singly at the time and before mobiles I could only give her my works number. I never heard from her.... my WO1 probably ended up diddling with her the bastard.

    Litotes I'm very happy for you. Were these women OK looking or the desperate 50 something type?
  14. They were all presentable to someone who isn't, cough, fussy!