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TopGun

Is topgun;

  • 110 minutes of gay porn

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • A recruiting video for the USN

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The film that blokes are allowed to cry at

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The coolest film of the 80's

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • All of the above

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
Just been watchin topgun and need a questioning answering
How can a film with so much homoerotocism, and such cheesy lines;
a) make me cry
b) be so cool
c) make me want to join the navy

It just doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
 
#2
I think you just want Tom Cruise to light your afterburners. :D :D :D

Seriously though, I just can't understand how a movie that is about as realistic as a blow up sheep can be so intertaining. (although considering the analogy, I could understand how Corps would enjoy the movie :D ) I can't stand to watch the movie as there are so many technical errors that it makes me sick.
 
#3
Sitting in some gawdforsaken hellhole watching top gun with brain in neutral on the welfare package; and some dummy always starts gobbing off about the capabilities and weapon load of the Tomcat. Well instead of shouting 'shutup you cnut' I can now shout 'shutup giblet jack you cnut' It isn't real you bellend its a movie!!!
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#5
giblackjack said:
I think you just want Tom Cruise to light your afterburners. :D :D :D

Seriously though, I just can't understand how a movie that is about as realistic as a blow up sheep can be so intertaining. (although considering the analogy, I could understand how Corps would enjoy the movie :D ) I can't stand to watch the movie as there are so many technical errors that it makes me sick.
How do you know the difference between the inflatable sheep and a real one ?
You're not Welsh are you ?
 
#7
Such a great movie. It might be full of "errors" but God damn it, that movie is my all time favorite! The soundtrack,.,., Ooooh BABY! Just awesome!
I also bought a the game they had on PS as soon as it was out on the market.. That movie is a legend! 8)
 
#8
I preferred "Flight Of The Intruder" to "Top Gun".
 
#10
Mr_C_Hinecap said:
FFS. I thought only our sad little Pilot/Nav trainees watched this dross. Please - just go and have a word with yourselves! :roll:
I'm a girl: I'm allowed, nay, EXPECTED to watch shite films! :wink:
 
#11
Jim_P_Pulfrew said:
It isn't real you bellend its a movie!!!
Thats all my dreams dashed then. There's always one to spoilt it.

Bast ard.

He will be kicking off on Flashdance next.
 
#12
giblackjack said:
I can't stand to watch the movie as there are so many technical errors that it makes me sick.
They mustn't have hired any Canadian technical advisors
 
#13
Jerry Bruckheimer and Don Simpson are jointly responsible for some of the worst excesses of machismo and also some of the best moments of action in movie history. This is the production team that brought us Beverly Hills Cop, Top Gun, Days of Thunder, Crimson Tide, Bad Boys and The Rock. Since Don Simpson's premature death Jerry Bruckheimer has gone on to make Con Air, Armageddon, Enemy of the State, and many more.

Basically, despite the fact that these films are laden with bullshit by the barrowload, we love them. Except, perhaps, Pearl Harbour.

The observant viewer will probably have noticed certain recurring themes throughout Bruckheimer and Simpson movies, and we have decided to immortalise these in the form of a drinking game.

Follow these instructions and we promise you'll be plastered fairly quickly.

You will need :

* A number of people (you might wish to choose people you consider friends).
* A large quantity of alcoholic beverages.
* A Television set, a video, and a number of Bruckheimer/Simpson produced movies.
* A copy of these rules.

Watch the films in any order of your choice, although remember that by the later stages you will be in no fit state to pay much attention due to inebriation.

While watching take a drink of your alcoholic beverage any time one of the following occurs :

1. Any person refers to any other person as "sir".
2. Any person refers to any other person as an "asshole".
3. Any person uses a religious figure as a curse, e.g. "God damn it!" or "Jesus Christ!".
4. Anybody removes an item of clothing to reveal a white t-shirt or vest beneath.
5. A senior figure in any organisation is exasperated by the behaviour of a subordinate.
6. Any vehicle is driven at high speed to the accompaniment of "rock" music.
7. Any person delivers a moving speech to the accompaniment of string or wind instruments.
8. Any two men are seen to embrace.
9. Luke whines. OK, so he's not in the films. It won't stop him whining.
 
#14
Mongoose said:
The observant viewer will probably have noticed certain recurring themes throughout Bruckheimer and Simpson movies, and we have decided to immortalise these in the form of a drinking game.

OOOH - A whole new topic emerges here (though I'll be surprised if its not been done before). "Drink-a-long-a Movies". Simple rules, every time the actor folk take a drink, the competitors take the same. Last to vomit wins. For the real red-route game, try "Withnail and I" (1994 I think, bit of a cult one, but should be a standard for anyone whose had to rough it a bit). Many fail at the lighter fuel stage, but if you make it through the "2 double vodkas and a pair of pints" stage, the only major hurdle left is "the finest wines known to mankind" and the finishing line is in sight (if a bit blurred and spinning).


20 units a week. My ARRSE.
 
#15
Its more camp than Millets, I believe they are currently filming "Topgun 2" with Julian Clary and Christopher Biggins taking the roles of Iceman and Maverick.
And Before anyone kicks off with "You must love it, you even remember the names!" the sad truth is, I suffer with total recall, its a curse, and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.
 
#16
Sleeper_service said:
Its more camp than Millets, I believe they are currently filming "Topgun 2" with Julian Clary and Christopher Biggins taking the roles of Iceman and Maverick.
And Before anyone kicks off with "You must love it, you even remember the names!" the sad truth is, I suffer with total recall, its a curse, and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.
Uh-huh... :roll: Bet you get hard when you hear the words "I feel the need; the need for speed!" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :twisted:
 
#17
DozyBint said:
Sleeper_service said:
Its more camp than Millets, I believe they are currently filming "Topgun 2" with Julian Clary and Christopher Biggins taking the roles of Iceman and Maverick.
And Before anyone kicks off with "You must love it, you even remember the names!" the sad truth is, I suffer with total recall, its a curse, and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.
Uh-huh... :roll: Bet you get hard when you hear the words "I feel the need; the need for speed!" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :twisted:
Only when you whisper it huskily, in my ear, you little tease! :wink: :D
 
#18
Sleeper_service said:
Its more camp than Millets, I believe they are currently filming "Topgun 2" with Julian Clary and Christopher Biggins taking the roles of Iceman and Maverick.
And Before anyone kicks off with "You must love it, you even remember the names!" the sad truth is, I suffer with total recall, its a curse, and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

"topgun2" renamed, with a smaller budget and based in Warminster.

Charlie: Where did you see this?
Maverick: Uh, that's classified.
Charlie: It's what?
Maverick: It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to make you stag on before the foreign student.

Maverick: Requesting permission for shovel recce.
Air Boss Johnson: That's a negative ghostrider, the pattern is full.

Goose's wife: Hey Goose you big stud!
Goose: That's me, honey.
Goose's wife: Take me up the dun trumpet or lose me forever.
Goose: Show me the way home, honey.

Maverick: I feel the need...
Maverick, Goose: ...the need to get up really early and stand to because everyone attacks at dawn!

Lieutenant Pete "Maverick" Mitchell: Too close for bullets, I'm switching to bayonet.

It will be a classic.
 
#19
topdig said:
Sleeper_service said:
Its more camp than Millets, I believe they are currently filming "Topgun 2" with Julian Clary and Christopher Biggins taking the roles of Iceman and Maverick.
And Before anyone kicks off with "You must love it, you even remember the names!" the sad truth is, I suffer with total recall, its a curse, and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

"topgun2" renamed, with a smaller budget and based in Warminster.

Charlie: Where did you see this?
Maverick: Uh, that's classified.
Charlie: It's what?
Maverick: It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to make you stag on before the foreign student.

Maverick: Requesting permission for shovel recce.
Air Boss Johnson: That's a negative ghostrider, the pattern is full.

Goose's wife: Hey Goose you big stud!
Goose: That's me, honey.
Goose's wife: Take me up the dun trumpet or lose me forever.
Goose: Show me the way home, honey.

Maverick: I feel the need...
Maverick, Goose: ...the need to get up really early and stand to because everyone attacks at dawn!

Lieutenant Pete "Maverick" Mitchell: Too close for bullets, I'm switching to bayonet.

It will be a classic.
I always like to "attack at dawn" then if I'm lucky, Mrs S_S will bring me breakfast in bed. :D
Its always nice when your hard work is appreciated. :wink:
 

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