Don't light your farts when (a) pi55ed (b) with no jeans or shreddies or (c) just because a load of your mates are egging you on "because it makes sense and there is a pint in it for you". The reason for this is because you will burn your ballbag, your ringer and singe all your pubes and will spend an inordinate amount of time being treated for a minor burn (applying cream) and then have the pi55 ripped mercilessly. Oh and also your other half will NOT be impressed (at least mine wasn't).
never try and turn on a light in a darkened room when you have earlier in the day removed the lightswitch plate and left the bare wires dangling out !
Never hump a female from this site whilst on an Arrse "crawl" as they will undoubtedly posses one or more of the following qualities:

1. Overweight.
2. Civilian.
3. Smell of gravy.
4. Have a mental dysfunction.
5. Be morbidly afraid of their own vaginal secretions.
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