Top tips for lesbian couples wanting babies?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, Mar 24, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. The present wife is on the phone to the wife of my wife's cousin.
    I gather from this side of the conversation the daughter intends having a baby with her partner. Seems they can buy cheap sperm from Denmark. (Bare in mind that neither of them are working and live in a rented flat above a pub.)
    This can only end badly surely?
  2. FrosteeMARIA

    FrosteeMARIA LE Gallery Guru

    As long as they have the pre-requisite turkey baster, then yes. Probably.
  3. Get them to contact cernunnos. I believe he has form for this.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. A player at my girlfriend's football team has just had a child. How her girlfriend managed to get her up the duff is not exactly clear.
  5. FrosteeMARIA

    FrosteeMARIA LE Gallery Guru

    Turkey baster. Do you need a diagram? I would, but I'm all out of puppets and crayons!

    • Like Like x 1
    • Like Like x 3
  6. Danish sperm? She'll give birth to piglets. That's why it's so cheap.
    • Like Like x 5
  7. My bad.Seems it comes from Sweden,and no turkey baster required.
  8. Wordsmith

    Wordsmith LE Book Reviewer

    Foals surely...

  9. Rather than deliberately bringing up a child with no father figure, have they considered double suicide?
    • Like Like x 4
  10. I don't see the need to go off SOP, just marry a bloke, get up the duff, leg it back to wifey with the house and alimony. Simples, innit.
  11. How can it possibly end badly? I'm sure us taxpayers will all happily chip in, via our taxes, to support these idle, work-shy rug-munchers. Fuck knows we do it for millions of scrounging, feckless, layabout, fat bastards already, one more "couple" won't hurt, surely? Well, I say "happily"...

    And my apologies for calling you Shirley.

    Any pictures of the happy couple, or are they standard issue lezzers, faces like a bag of spanners?
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Oddly enough that was pretty much what the wife said as she came off the phone. And it gets better,seems they got married a wee while ago,without telling the family so they would be viewed as a better prospect to go for the ivf.
    I have piccies, not for here and now.
  13. Just tell them to go straight.

    That'll cheer them up no end.
  14. How do you get a nun pregnant?

    Fuck her.

    Job's jobbed.
    • Like Like x 1