Top Quality Rant

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Charlieoppo, Sep 7, 2008.

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  1. Also posted on Rum Ration, I reckon it deserves a wider viewing.

    Speaking of the desirability of our Sceptred Isle, I chanced upon this;


    Dear Labour Voters

    We meet at last. It’s been 11 years and you’ve enjoyed every moment, haven’t you?

    You had f**k all but weren’t happy watching others get on, so you voted for the grinning slimeball who offered you something for nothing, didn’t you? Guess who got rich? You or him?

    I digress. Let’s get back to you lot. All 9 million of you. How are things? Still smiling? You’ve had 11 years to make the best of it. So let’s look at what you have achieved. All 9 million of you.

    Whilst you’ve been enjoying cheap credit, the rest of us have noticed that we don’t actually own our country anymore. Whilst you’ve been enjoying hot tubs, 4x4’s, gas fired BBQ’s, nail studios, the hairdressers and trying to keep up with the Beckhams, the Magna Carta has been torn to shreds and thrown away. Whilst little Tyson has been riding around on his Argos 27.9% APR financed BMX, 900 years of British History has been shat on.

    Ever wondered why you don’t have a villa in Tuscany? Ever wondered why everyone else takes holidays in the Caribbean whilst you go to Menorca?

    It’s because you are thick and lazy. And along came a Party that told you being thick and lazy was no good reason for you NOT to have what they had.

    You stupid, stupid cnuts. Guess where Tony Blair is now? Do you think he is drawing the curtains on his two bed terraced house, full with M&S trinkets, to hide from the postman? Like you are? Do you think he wakes at 5am, shitting it that the bailiffs will be there at 11 to take away his new Nissan?

    Cut to the chase. You’re up to your f***ing eyes in it. £20K, £30K on the plastic? Tax credits aren’t going to help pay that are they? Overtime’s going to be cut because there’s a recession coming. Oooppps. That’s what been paying the minimum due every month, isn’t it? Whilst you’ve been buying sovereign rings, Tag Heuers and Tescos Finest to impress your parents, the party that promised you a shot at being loaded without doing anything has f***ed it all up. And guess who is going to pay?

    I know your parents were hard up. I know you grew up with f**k all. I know your parents couldn’t give a shit about getting you through school properly. They were too busy wife swapping or down the bingo or social. I know you laughed at your teachers.

    Guess what?

    You’re f***ed. Totally, properly f***ed. You are going to lose your houses, cars, plasmas, koi carp and Nikes. Think your parents were hard up? Just f***ing wait six months. You will KNOW what a diet of pasta and ketchup tastes like. No more Dominoes Pizza in front of the Simpsons on Sky, no more Tandooris. Get your fat, lazy arses in the kitchen and f***ing cook something. Your kids will hate you as their PS3’s head over to Cash Converters, your wife will hate you as you trade in her Louis Vuitton handbag and you will hate yourself when you take a carrier bag out to the car to clear the glove compartment as the bailiff waits.

    I hate all 9 million of you. I wish you all the plagues of hell. I want to see the four horsemen of the apocalypse in your Next furnished living room.

    In your greedy, petty little pursuit of free “stuff” you allowed MY country, MY rights and MY life to be turned over by a bunch of f***ing snake oil salesman.

    I hope it costs you everything, you shites. I can handle 9 million suicides, and frankly with no major wars, there’s no other way we’ll get rid of you cnuts.

    F**k off and die!
  2. mmmmmmmm this is a tough one to explain to the parents
  3. Link is dead.

    quality rant, though.
  4. Who wrote this, a Mr G Brown?
  5. The upside is that about a million or so orange-skinned housewives are about to go into various niche markets of whoredom to pay the gas bill. As things get worse, there's no telling what they will do for a copy of Heat magazine and a five-quid coffee that looks like a diseased mong tossed over it.

    They've been swallowing Gordon Brown's shite long enough - soon, for a modest fee, they'll be offering the same service to the rest of us.
  6. CharlieO, It looks like you saw into the Liarblair future for the UK as I did .....and fooked off out of the UK, we ll its coming home to roost now....worst economic out look fo 60 years.
  7. Utter quality...

    My hat is off to the author...

    Cleaning up after the suicides might be a nice little earner... What name would you give to that business? :twisted:
  8. Offal Disposal Services
  9. Sad, but how very true. Time to move on, however, and plan for the next opportunity to fleece the great unwashed.
  10. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    find them and invite them to join ARRSE they could jump on every outrage wagon we've got

    edited for mong keyboard skills
  11. Nice, call it "Odius" for short... :wink:
  12. Quality.

    And hopefully all the Harvester pubs will close down because these cashed up chavs won't be able to afford their Sunday lunch with the missus.

    There are only three types of people that vote for the Labour Party - the corrupt, the stupid and those too lazy to think.
  13. You forgot the fourth type old chap. The F*ckwitts.
  14. Trans-sane

    Trans-sane LE Book Reviewer

    Aren't fcukwits a sub-category of the stupid? Or are the stupid a sub-category of the fcukwits?

    Anyway. That blogger is a top man and I wish him every properity.
  15. I know order-order from my subscription to Guy Fawkes' blog posts, but a google search suggests that the wonderful rant above only appears in a comment on one of his blogs, rather than from Fawkes himself.

    A bit more poking, and I've found what is (I believe) the original!

    "If you are easily offended then you are a cúnt. If you read the Grauniad just fúck off and die. I am not here to make friends, I am here to rant and vent my spleen. Oh, a quick note for any politicians who may wander in. Die."

    Gentlemen, I think he's already an arrser in spirit!