Top lad you. Cheers.

Re: Pilots...couple of dits spring to mind...

Falklands after SL, had a week there. There was some outgoing RAF squadron and they offered a few places on a buckshee flight on a herc. I went on it. They allowed all of us to go up to the fl;ightdeck and sit in the jumpseat behind the pilots. They did the whole parabolic curve-weightlesness thing, and flew VERY low level over where the ship was docked, with the back dropped.
I was in the jumpseat for the landing. It was fecking ace! Nice one crabs!

I've spun the dit here before also but - in '97 I was a bit pissed on a herc coming back from the gulf. A chief petty officer tried to sticth me up with threatening him on the flight. 2 of the off-watch pilots sat either side of me and gave statements that I was just "suitably refreshed" and at no point was abusive. Also got a glowing report from the RAF police at Lynham (I was in their cells behind the main gate until morning). I wasn't kept in a cell, I just crashed lots of DF fags and spent the night watching SKY in the guardroom. Then some RAF airman tried ripping into me for making the floor wet in the showers after he'd mopped them. He was torn a new arsehole (in front of me) by some RAF Sgt on account of me being a Leading hand. I found it rather embarrasing.

More than a couple of times I've been allowed to take control of the controls in a Sea King too. Seemed a piece of piss compared to a Robinson! @beefer AFCS? I was in control of the column, not collective.
 
JLR back in 91/92, Troop full screw would in the dryibest the lads to fuck in the drying room if he was in t he mood. For some reason never liked on lad. As the drying room was well roasting and always full of about 25 lads wet gear also rather humid. After about an hour of being thrashed to fuck doing dips on the drying bars as well as gundrills etc. The poor lad comes out completely drenched to the skin and about 1kg lighter than he started.

Que one of the other lads walking up to the Cpl and telling him the lad who'd been beasted though it was a doodle and him then getting grabbed back in for a repeat session despite never opening his mouth.

Top lad
 
Have you ever been in a Chinnook in an operational capacity, the rules I am afraid tend to get blurred. I will also say that travelling in the seat between the two guys at the sharp end wearing NVG's and at 60 to 80 metres off the ground most of the way is one of my most enjoyable experiaces in the army.
What seat?

1576451821117.jpeg

You lying cünt.
 

Issi

War Hero
There is a little foldy down jump seat behind the two pilots seats, but this doesn't give any more credibility to the bollocks story about a pissed pilot.
 
There is a little foldy down jump seat behind the two pilots seats, but this doesn't give any more credibility to the bollocks story about a pissed pilot.
Ive only ever seen a loady use that on operational flights. It’s not a time for jollies.
 
Re: Pilots...couple of dits spring to mind...

Falklands after SL, had a week there. There was some outgoing RAF squadron and they offered a few places on a buckshee flight on a herc. I went on it. They allowed all of us to go up to the fl;ightdeck and sit in the jumpseat behind the pilots. They did the whole parabolic curve-weightlesness thing, and flew VERY low level over where the ship was docked, with the back dropped.
I was in the jumpseat for the landing. It was fecking ace! Nice one crabs!

I've spun the dit here before also but - in '97 I was a bit pissed on a herc coming back from the gulf. A chief petty officer tried to sticth me up with threatening him on the flight. 2 of the off-watch pilots sat either side of me and gave statements that I was just "suitably refreshed" and at no point was abusive. Also got a glowing report from the RAF police at Lynham (I was in their cells behind the main gate until morning). I wasn't kept in a cell, I just crashed lots of DF fags and spent the night watching SKY in the guardroom. Then some RAF airman tried ripping into me for making the floor wet in the showers after he'd mopped them. He was torn a new ******** (in front of me) by some RAF Sgt on account of me being a Leading hand. I found it rather embarrasing.

More than a couple of times I've been allowed to take control of the controls in a Sea King too. Seemed a piece of piss compared to a Robinson! @beefer AFCS? I was in control of the column, not collective.
Automatic Flight Control System. Most medium/heavy helicopters need some kind of stability assistance as they are prone to “wallow” (slowly oscillate) about the rotor disk which can be uncomfortable. The AFCS - a clever arrangement of gyroscopes/accelerometers and servos - anticipates this and corrects it, making for a more comfortable ride. Pilots must be able to fly and land with the AFCS not functioning though.

An avionics technician will be along shortly to reveal my ignorance but hey ho.

Dit. The Lynx could be a handful with the AFCS switched off, particularly in the hover near the ground. During my conversion course we were practicing landing on sloping ground and my instructor demonstrated landing with the AFCS off and it was immaculate, I just couldn’t get it as good. He later confessed with a smile that he’d leaft the AFCS on but just dimmed the control box lighting to look like it was off!

I never used that trick, no - never...
 
There is a small bench seat just behind that, the loadmaster would sit there during a cargo flight but I was lucky enough to be allowed to sit there with NVG donned for a flight between Basrah and Abu Naji just outside Al Amarah
And they had spare nvg for you?
 

NI-EX-MEDIC

War Hero
Didn't an AAC hero take a Gazelle for a spin out of Londonderry in the early 2000s after 'a few glasses of wine' and end up splashing it in Lough Foyle?
I was in a Lynx in Middle Wallop with a pilot that could not stand at 2300hrs the evening before and I knowt that because I bedded him down in our tent. He was flying at 0800 next day. I felt happy with this guy and it was a big day in Middle Wallop around 1998 i think
 

NI-EX-MEDIC

War Hero
And they had spare nvg for you?
FFS it was Iraq 2004, would that not have been possible. One thing sticks in my mind is that they warned me passing over the marshes to take them off. I asked why and got the answer fairly quick as the countermeasures for missiles were triggered by the marsh arabs fires. When we arrived at Al Amarah via chinnook the countermeasures went off because of a burn pit and it was an awsome display. I do believe a lad i know has a pic of it
 

NI-EX-MEDIC

War Hero
There is a little foldy down jump seat behind the two pilots seats, but this doesn't give any more credibility to the bollocks story about a pissed pilot.
The pissed pilot was in NI circa 1990, the jump seat behind the pilot happened in 2004
 
The pissed pilot was in NI circa 1990, the jump seat behind the pilot happened in 2004
FFS it was Iraq 2004, would that not have been possible. One thing sticks in my mind is that they warned me passing over the marshes to take them off. I asked why and got the answer fairly quick as the countermeasures for missiles were triggered by the marsh arabs fires. When we arrived at Al Amarah via chinnook the countermeasures went off because of a burn pit and it was an awsome display. I do believe a lad i know has a pic of it


[/QUOT
The pissed pilot was in NI circa 1990, the jump seat behind the pilot happened in 2004
I, along with many others here have both been to, and flown over Iraq.
My experience was prior to 2004.

I would be very interested in hearing about anything requiring aircew NVG req and missile deception over Iraq in 2004.

And where were you flying from - to?

You may wish to re-google.

(I'm being gentle here...a softer, kinder gentle type of arrsing)
 
Last edited:
I was in a Lynx in Middle Wallop with a pilot that could not stand at 2300hrs the evening before and I knowt that because I bedded him down in our tent. He was flying at 0800 next day. I felt happy with this guy and it was a big day in Middle Wallop around 1998 i think
So the story is starting to change from a ‘pissed’ pilot to a ‘hungover’ pilot.

I wonder where this will lead us?

 

The_Poltroon

Clanker
I unfortunately used to work in Kidderminster.

Visiting some of the socially deprived areas of the town and witnessing the sort of unemployable heroin ravaged interbred general all round stains on society that used to live up the Horsefair and over the Rifle range makes me wish that someone would nuke the place and turn it into a giant uninhabitable car park devoid of any living creature.

Bewdley road Fish Bar used to do fairly decent chips though.
 
Circa 1992 my mate was in a Chinook flight from Dungannon to Cappagh with a pilot he had spent all afernoon in the pub with, he said the flying fine but the speech very slurred.
As a fellow flier of single-thrashing-palm-tree types in NI in the 90’s, I am going to file that in the “things that never happened” file.

They flew from “Dungannon to Cappagh”, so they’d either flown all the way there from Aldergrove for the task meaning the pissed pilot had escaped the attention of everybody there before flying, or they were basing out of Dungannon. Having spent many happy hours and days at Dungannon in the 90s I am unsure of which particular pub in the invariably-friendly-and-welcoming-to-British-service-personnel-town the aircrew would have wandered down to and got pissed in of an afternoon.

The jump seat bit is not impossible. The “taking the NVGs off because of the IR countermeasures “ sounds a bit bollocks. They might not work so well for a bit if the flares go off so the operating crew would perhaps need precautions but a jump seat gash pax would not need to do so.
 
The “taking the NVGs off because of the IR countermeasures “ sounds a bit bollocks. They might not work so well for a bit if the flares go off so the operating crew would perhaps need precautions but a jump seat gash pax would not need to do so.
Well obvs if still had nvgs on he would see them drinking their cocktails...
 

New Posts

Latest Threads

Top