1. Tech Support calls you for help. 2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL." 3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on. 4. You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other. 5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "you can hang out." 6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. 7. You've gotten on an airplane just to meet some people face-to-face. 8. You have to get a second phone line so you can order pizza. 9. Your wife goes into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're going to be "away." 10. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it. 11. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation or complete sentences. 12. You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. 13. When someone says, "What did you say?" you reply, "Scroll up!" 14. You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep. 15. You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you're online again. 16. You know more about your AOL friends' daily routines than you do your own spouses'. 17. You find yourself lying to others about your time online and when they complain that your phone was busy, you claim it was off the hook. 18. You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to your own. 19. You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much than the truth (you were online all night). 20. You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.