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tools that don,t work!!

#1
we,ve all been there.....i have as an a mech and as as plant fitter,its pissing down with rain,snowing or its 120 c in the shade and your trying to fix/bodge a job and you,ve got the fcuking tools from hell! :twisted:

here,s my starter.....

adjustable spanner....................a dual purpose device for rounding off bolts and knuckles simultaneously! :x

10 tonne engine hoist...........................a tool used for testing the tensile strength of anything you forgot to disconnect! :oops:

there must be other "helpful" tools that need a good fcuking slating,i could talk about that "magical" strap spanner i made in bordon but i find a sharpened phillips driven towards the top of the filter far outstrips that useless piece of shite! :)
 
#2
Most techs are tools that don't work :)

Only kidding........ahem ;)

My strap spanner worked a treat...you must've been pants at bench fighting.
 
#3
smudge67 said:
Most techs are tools that don't work :)

Only kidding........ahem ;)

My strap spanner worked a treat...you must've been pants at bench fighting.

never tried bench fighting but bench fitting wasn,t my strong point! :wink:
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#5
24v drills with no torque adjustment - When used with a screw bit and a screw, great for making a bigger hole that only a much larger screw will grip in - the sort of size screw you can't get in B&Q.
 
#11
The bloody soldering iron that techs are issued. If it works at all, incredible. Once up to heat, enough warmth to melt the polar caps, especially with the giant tip on. Shite for working on PCBs though.
 
#13
another good one....................circlip pliers!!spent many a late night looking for the fcuking circlip that does the midnight flit across the wksp/batus/building site or refinery.
 
#15
Issued new portable press worked for a few weeks then started leaking. Got a contractor to look at it who informed me it was fcuked and couldn’t be repaired.

Air tools in your ET that don’t have enough torque to remove the bottle top on a Bud Light.

Sledge hammers with wooden shafts (or even the newer ones) that splinter after one poorly placed swing.

Spanners that sheer when you need to put a bar on the end for a bit of extra leverage.

Screw drivers that shrink in size if you hit them with a hammer (sometimes you have to)

Ratchets that don’t click.

Pin punches which snap or bend.

The problem with sh-t tools is you get even sh-ter ones as replacements.
 
#16
Not so mush the tools ,more the stupid plastic box and foam trays we have to keep them!

Give me a metal box and some socket rails any day!

Oh and any thing made by draper!
 
#18
I agree that the vast majority of issued tools are tonk but can you imagine what would happen if the issued toolbox was Snap-On/Teng/Draper tools, the kit insurance claims for 'lost/stolen' toolboxes would go through the roof.

Half the reason that issued stuff doesn't perform is usually down to misuse or not sticking to 'the right tool for the job'.
Having said that, anything made by britool or king dick should be melted down and made into chavvy Argos jewellery.

There are decent spanners/sockets etc in the supply chain but expensive shiny stuff like that always goes missing and usually ends up on Ebay or in somebody's home toolbox (de-etched of course!).

I've bought my own tools for work and I don't mind if my sockets or spanners go ping, they've got a lifetime guarantee and you always treat stuff you've forked out for yourself with more care and respect than issued rubbish.
 
#19
there is always one
finally a fun forum on reme page and then some one brings it down to shop torque.

on that note the pin puller for cvrt torsion bars god they are great.

mind you thats stte

best tools

pack breaking kit (metal smith made)
Crucfix (quill shaft puller made by said smithy) :D
 
#20
jibman said:
we,ve all been there.....i have as an a mech and as as plant fitter,its pissing down with rain,snowing or its 120 c in the shade and your trying to fix/bodge a job and you,ve got the fcuking tools from hell! :twisted:

here,s my starter.....

adjustable spanner....................a dual purpose device for rounding off bolts and knuckles simultaneously! :x

10 tonne engine hoist...........................a tool used for testing the tensile strength of anything you forgot to disconnect! :oops:

there must be other "helpful" tools that need a good fcuking slating,i could talk about that "magical" strap spanner i made in bordon but i find a sharpened phillips driven towards the top of the filter far outstrips that useless piece of shite! :)
Bad workman and all that. How is it the engine hoists fault that YOU havent disconnected all cables, hoses etc prior to lifting?

Now if you said it was a 10 tonne hoist that could only lift 5 tonne I´d agree.
 

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