tools that don,t work!!

Discussion in 'REME' started by jibman, Jun 6, 2008.

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  1. we,ve all been there.....i have as an a mech and as as plant fitter,its pissing down with rain,snowing or its 120 c in the shade and your trying to fix/bodge a job and you,ve got the fcuking tools from hell! :twisted:

    here,s my starter.....

    adjustable spanner....................a dual purpose device for rounding off bolts and knuckles simultaneously! :x

    10 tonne engine hoist...........................a tool used for testing the tensile strength of anything you forgot to disconnect! :oops:

    there must be other "helpful" tools that need a good fcuking slating,i could talk about that "magical" strap spanner i made in bordon but i find a sharpened phillips driven towards the top of the filter far outstrips that useless piece of shite! :)
  2. Most techs are tools that don't work :)

    Only kidding........ahem ;)

    My strap spanner worked a must've been pants at bench fighting.

  3. never tried bench fighting but bench fitting wasn,t my strong point! :wink:
  4. Armourers call it bench we do a lot of it!
  5. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    24v drills with no torque adjustment - When used with a screw bit and a screw, great for making a bigger hole that only a much larger screw will grip in - the sort of size screw you can't get in B&Q.
  6. Hub sockets, nuff said.
  7. The cnut in charge of drainage at Hazebrouck.
  8. Oh... Sorry, I thought this was another thread about fukcing Liarbour politicians...
  9. Des Browne
  10. those two metre long yellow jacks that are almost impossible to move into place.
  11. The bloody soldering iron that techs are issued. If it works at all, incredible. Once up to heat, enough warmth to melt the polar caps, especially with the giant tip on. Shite for working on PCBs though.
  12. tools that don,t work!!

    I can only think of one REME Group

  13. another good one....................circlip pliers!!spent many a late night looking for the fcuking circlip that does the midnight flit across the wksp/batus/building site or refinery.
  14. Pretty poor show, 11 replies to get a comment slagging tiffies off :roll:
  15. alb

    alb Clanker

    Issued new portable press worked for a few weeks then started leaking. Got a contractor to look at it who informed me it was fcuked and couldn’t be repaired.

    Air tools in your ET that don’t have enough torque to remove the bottle top on a Bud Light.

    Sledge hammers with wooden shafts (or even the newer ones) that splinter after one poorly placed swing.

    Spanners that sheer when you need to put a bar on the end for a bit of extra leverage.

    Screw drivers that shrink in size if you hit them with a hammer (sometimes you have to)

    Ratchets that don’t click.

    Pin punches which snap or bend.

    The problem with sh-t tools is you get even sh-ter ones as replacements.