Tonight I cooked..........

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
the tomato sauce was nicked from Morrisons
Up until then you were on a winner but tomato sauce means failure. You should have nicked brown sauce or L&P or soy. In fact, almost anything but tomato sauce. :muhaha:
 
look for her making poached eggs

its a culinary lesson you wont forget
Holy fackin jeezus. You got that right.

I need eye bleach after watching that.

If you think she struggled with poaching an egg (Hint: Heat the water) you should see what she does to a beef Wellington.

She must be the worst cook I have ever seen. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at her ineptitude or get angry at the piss takers asking her to cook elaborate dishes and then mocking her.

Surely that “fish finger” pie is beans and sausage pie?

If she tried to cut vegetables in her hand with my knives she would lose all her fingers. Or her blood.
 
Her kitchen seems to consist of a Soviet-era tiled prison cell and a stove. She seems to prepare everything on the top of the stove.

The one where she was making bacon & egg sandwiches had me in stitches. The eggs were fried in what appeared to be used engine oil and almost unrecognisable as eggs.

Credit to her for trying, however.
 

Kirkz

LE
Ffs the cnuts still stalking Arrse.
 
Her kitchen seems to consist of a Soviet-era tiled prison cell and a stove. She seems to prepare everything on the top of the stove.

The one where she was making bacon & egg sandwiches had me in stitches. The eggs were fried in what appeared to be used engine oil and almost unrecognisable as eggs.

Credit to her for trying, however.
I just watched that one, based on your recommendation. I now understand the true meaning of train crash television.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with the oil. It was fresh yesterday” cracked me up. Which is pretty much what she did to the eggs.

Her cooking is addictive viewing. Sadly not for gastronomic reasons. I seem to have become addicted to her videos (alas, not for her cooking) and keep looking for how she slaughters complex dishes. I watched the trifle one but she cheated and used a Birds Eye packet mix.

I don’t think Giles Coren faces too much competition from her son’s food criticism which mostly consists of “Mmmm, nice”.
 
IMG_20190912_170234_hdr.jpg
Camper nosh with a difference this evening

Chicken thighs, with mashed sweet potatoes, and mixed pepper and shallots
Cooked in the halogen oven outside the van
He potato is in the foil and roasted same time as the chicken
It was loverly
IMG_20190912_175251_hdr.jpg


The skin was much darker than it appears, and was crispy and delicious
 
View attachment 416646Camper nosh with a difference this evening

Chicken thighs, with mashed sweet potatoes, and mixed pepper and shallots
Cooked in the halogen oven outside the van
He potato is in the foil and roasted same time as the chicken
It was loverlyView attachment 416647

The skin was much darker than it appears, and was crispy and delicious
So that’s what happened to Twicki the Robot out of off of Buck Rogers.
 
OK, I humbly apologise. "Cooking with Kay" was supposed to be a comedy interlude, not an instructional :)

I'm not much good with trying to transliterate her accent, but something like:

"Erkay, it's Kaay ergaaain, terdaaay we're goin' ta do staak un kidney purding wi' beeeans"

"Tek yer Netto 9p beeeeans, cut top off can wi' tin urpener, and dump 'em inter berl".

"Do 't saaame wi 't piie, but mek shere yer drop it from at least twelve inches above 't berl, else it'll nurt splatter".

"Purrit in t' miiiicrerwaaave fer 15 minutes, just ter mek shere 't fooker's cooked through".
 
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