Tonight I cooked..........

I don't really belong in this thread either but there isn't one called 'Tonight I ballsed up cooking...'
Er, that would be this thread. Not everything goes to plan. I can't cook Yorkshire pudding correctly if my life depended on it, it would seem. And that loaf I made the other day was a complete abortion in terms of shaping (unless one intended to make a hat). But it's OK, we are here to help with hints, tips, and praise when it does go well.

Just like anything else, this thread sometimes attracts the wånkers that just throw bricks, but to be honest they make their reputation for themselves.

So, balls it up and post it here!
 
Er, that would be this thread. Not everything goes to plan. I can't cook Yorkshire pudding correctly if my life depended on it, it would seem. And that loaf I made the other day was a complete abortion in terms of shaping (unless one intended to make a hat). But it's OK, we are here to help with hints, tips, and praise when it does go well.

Just like anything else, this thread sometimes attracts the wånkers that just throw bricks, but to be honest they make their reputation for themselves.

So, balls it up and post it here!
Stop trying to lure in potential victims you creep! ;)

@Ortholith ...run far mate, very far away!
 
I,m in Italy, just for a change, we,'ve gone self catering, so doing our own breakfast, then cooking a lunch or dinner, and eating out the other meal.

Took a couple of frozen packs of bacon from home..... Italian eggs are fabulous, corn fed chickens, so the yolks are deep orange.

There,s a Netto round the corner, not like the one that failed in the UK, these have butchery counters etc, the meat is great, so tasty.
 
Apparently I can add internet sarcasm to the list of things I'm not good at, along with food that doesn't look like it was plated by Edward Dildohands :)
 
Stop trying to lure in potential victims you creep! ;)

@Ortholith ...run far mate, very far away!
It's rare that I criticize others' actual cooking. I'm a strong believer in "if you've got nothing good to say, say nothing". I try and "like" when people post photos of their efforts. Even if it's mediocre, I'll like it. If it's slathered in Tommy K, for example (a personal bette noire), I would not "like" it, but rarely say anything to the gopping manky fcukwit that did it :)

Shit spelling and grammar, obvious opportunities to have a dig at our pet matelot ( :) ) and dirty kitchens are all fair game, but not the actual cooking. In return, I get slated for being a plastic Spam, plastic Scouser before that and being a Scaley. All good.

I do wish @mush_dad would put some fcuking effort into his presentation though, the idle fcuker :)
 
It's rare that I criticize others' actual cooking. I'm a strong believer in "if you've got nothing good to say, say nothing". I try and "like" when people post photos of their efforts. Even if it's mediocre, I'll like it. If it's slathered in Tommy K, for example (a personal bette noire), I would not "like" it, but rarely say anything to the gopping manky fcukwit that did it :)

Shit spelling and grammar, obvious opportunities to have a dig at our pet matelot ( :) ) and dirty kitchens are all fair game, but not the actual cooking. In return, I get slated for being a plastic Spam, plastic Scouser before that and being a Scaley. All good.

I do wish @mush_dad would put some fcuking effort into his presentation though, the idle fcuker :)
I can agree with all of that, but I don't want advice from someone who isn't prepared to show us their efforts. Just talking a good game is not the same as playing.
 
Apparently I can add internet sarcasm to the list of things I'm not good at, along with food that doesn't look like it was plated by Edward Dildohands :)
this thread is NOT about boasting about one's culinary greatness (We leave that to @mush_dad and his balsamic "jus") :)
It's about normal blokes posting what they cooked..and ..even if they fecked it up. We learn from each other.

There are a few "in jokes"...nuances etc, of which you will get accustomed to. @Kirkz normally produces meals that are splendidly brown in hue for example - @Sixty will post a picture of a hastily made meal of hamster proportions but...with a "heavy reading" tome strategically displayed in the foreground....Macaroni cheese and..."Celtic poems about Etruscan pottery 1305-1407" for example.

There are STRICT rules on correct "platage" however. Any attempts at "arty-farty" displaying of 'a few greens' on a plate of Jodrell bank proportions will be quickly stamped upon and dealt with!

We learn from each others mistakes and...from our successes.
 
In return, I get slated for being a plastic Spam, plastic Scouser before that and being a Scaley. All good.
Eh, eh, calm down. We've got to stick together la.
 
Thanks for the info, mate.......... I put the sad prick on ignore ages ago.

As far as I, m concerned, the important point of this thread is sharing info and recipes........ photos are more needed for the likes of Mush Dad, because he adds artistry as well to his food, but pics of ordinary scoff..... no, unless just for fun.

Himmler is just a stalker, with no grasp of reality, or interconnecting with humans.

Anyways, today, it was boiled ovo e tostados, then bigoli e colatura for lunch, then salchiccas et patates for tea, before a quick pasegata up Via Regina, and a bottle of Netto,s finest white before bed.
Whilst I agree photos aren't always necessary, if you are cooking something out of the ordinary a photo helps show others what the finished article should look like. How many recipe books have you seen that don't display a photo of the food as well?

And NEVER posting a photo just smacks of being petty, with the intention of winding certain people up.

Himmler doesn't post photos, but then he doesn't post anything about the food he cooks. He's freely admitted in the past that he watches this thread for inspiration.
 
Fugginell, I try and make a vaguely amusing self-deprecating comment and it turns into the Samaritans in here.

I may have attended the Mad Woman's Shit school of food presentation but I have a pretty thick skin. Any chance someone can call me a c*** or insult my spreadable gravy to bring normality back? ;)

There are a few "in jokes"...nuances etc, of which you will get accustomed to. @Kirkz normally produces meals that are splendidly brown in hue for example - @Sixty will post a picture of a hastily made meal of hamster proportions but...with a "heavy reading" tome strategically displayed in the foreground....Macaroni cheese and..."Celtic poems about Etruscan pottery 1305-1407" for example.
Hence why I've been adding books into my recent attempts. I'm running out of low-brow trash and might have to start putting cartoons with my brown.
 
Got brought these today...surprisingly nice!
The pasty equiv of poundshop...God knows where from.

I'm completing them with a 'salad' of ketchup.

2018-10-18 19.23.55.jpg
 
Fugginell, I try and make a vaguely amusing self-deprecating comment and it turns into the Samaritans in here.

I may have attended the Mad Woman's Shit school of food presentation but I have a pretty thick skin. Any chance someone can call me a c*** or insult my spreadable gravy to bring normality back? ;)


Hence why I've been adding books into my recent attempts. I'm running out of low-brow trash and might have to start putting cartoons with my brown.
Shit!...forgot about the books...

2018-10-18 19.33.02.jpg
 
this thread is NOT about boasting about one's culinary greatness (We leave that to @mush_dad and his balsamic "jus") :)
It's about normal blokes .
Normal blokes...normal f*cking blokes??? How fucking dare you. Normal blokes my arrse...there is fuckall normal about us you patronising cunt. We are grossly abnormal and proudly strive to be so.

No more insults, OK?
 
Chicken wings, spicy and fairly hot, plus a side salad.

Well marinated first then oven roasted on a rack.

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