Tommy Atkins

Discussion in 'Poetry Corner' started by medman82, Jul 31, 2009.

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  1. I had this poem sent to me by a fellow veteran, seems pretty straight forward to me how things have changed, anyway, have a read, see what you think.

    A Modern Tommy Atkins (after Rudyard Kipling)

    Written by Patrick Campbell
    They flew me 'ome from Baghdad with a bullet in me chest.
    'Cos they've closed the army 'ospitals, I'm in the NHS.
    The nurse, she ain't no Britisher an' so she ain't impressed.
    It's like I'm some street corner thug who's come off second best.

    Yes, it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "You're not welcome 'ere".
    But when Saddam was collar'd, they was quick enough to cheer.
    They're proud when Tommy Atkins 'olds the thin red line out there,
    But now he's wounded back at 'ome, he has to wait for care.

    Some stranger in the next bed sez, "Don't you feel no shame?
    You kill my Muslim brothers!" So it's me, not 'im, to blame!
    An' then the cleaner ups an' sez "Who are you fightin' for?
    It ain't for Queen and country, it's America's bloody war!"

    It's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, what's that smell?"
    But it's "God go with you, Tommy," when they fly us out to 'ell.
    O then we're just like 'eroes from the army's glorious past.
    Yes, it's "God go with you, Tommy," when the trip might be your last.

    They pays us skivvy wages, never mind we're sitting ducks,
    When clerks what's pushing pens at 'ome don't know their flippin' luck.
    "Ah, yes" sez they "but think of all the travel to be 'ad."
    Pull the other one. Does Cooks do 'olidays in Baghdad?

    It's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, know your place,"
    But it's "Tommy, take the front seat," when there's terrorists to chase.
    An' the town is full of maniacs who'd like you dead toot sweet.
    Yes, it's "Thank you, Mr Atkins," when they find you in the street.

    There's s'pposed to be a covynant to treat us fair an' square
    But I 'ad to buy me army boots, an' me combats is threadbare.
    An' 'alf the bloody 'elicopters can't get into the air,
    An' me rifle jammed when snipers fired. That's why I'm laid up 'ere.

    Yes, it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, "We 'ave to watch the pence";
    Bold as brass the P.M. sez, "We spare them no expense."
    But I'll tell you when they do us proud an' pull out all the stops,
    It's when Tommy lands at Lyneham in a bloomin' wooden box!
  2. F ucking hell,there's nothing like a good old shimf is there?
  3. That was sh*t.
  4. S hit? I wouldn't say it was that good.
    Sounds like it was wrote by Dick Van Dyke,him or the Artful Dodger.
  5. He could have just told the MO he had mongy feet and get issued Altbergs like me! :)
  6. Do clerks really say that? :roll:
    That is quite possibly the sh1ttest piece of doggerel ever posted on Arrse.
  7. They normally say its all JPAs fault.
  8. I don't doubt it, but sitting in the UK boosting the travel opportunities of going on ops?
  9. And he can't spell. :)
  10. A close second behind the drivel wrote by Killahoe that made you want to ram dog shite down his mouth for that
  11. I thought Patrick Campbell was d-d-d-ead.
  12. Whinging Cockneys, stop dropping the aitch, it's not big and it's not cleva!
  13. If you is a closet poet
    and you want's all of uz t' know it
    Fink twice befo' ya posts ya ditty
    'cos it usually don't rhyme and that's a pity
    Fo' yooz a c*nt. Jai!
  14. why the feck do you think I posted it in the NAAFi and not the poetry section you dip shi ts. look up "p iss takes" in the arrsepedia FFS
  15. Archduke Franz Ferdinand
    Has a lot to answer for.
    He failed to dodge the bullets,
    And started the First World War.