Tom Cruise

#1
It is reported in the Daily Wail that His Cruiseness has reached "operating thetan" level 7 and has telekinetic as well as telepathic powers, and is progressing to "godlike" status. Given the obvious comment that his telepathic powers gave no warning of katie fucking off with the sprog, why didn't he just join REME?
 
#3
I finally figured out what that actually signifies.

It means that Mr Cruise can now insert his right index finger into his ear, and hold himself out at arm's length for 24 hours.

Or maybe, put his elbows in his ears and suspend himself in space.

TBH, I'm not usually one to mock another person's heartfelt religious beliefs, it that's what they are, but.........

tac
 
#5
The guy is absolutely off his croyfe, what is it with celebrities and their batshit crazy religions?
Because they've got money and therefore attract con-artists and charlatans like bluebottles to a new-laid dog-egg, all glisteny, because they're professional exhibitionists who are desperate for approval and can thus be flattered into believing that they've been 'chosen' for their wonderfulness, intellect etc rather than for their wealth and invincible stupidity, and because they're for the most part as thick as two short planks and easily fooled.
 
#6
I think it signifies that he will be permitted to pay another several million dollars to the Cult of Scientology & then reach level 8. It's a bit like the Masons.
 
#7
If he's so bloody marvelous why can't he manage relationships?
Scientology is one of the biggest cons of all time.
 
#9
I think it means he can now finger little boys bum holes, as well as little girls.*

The fruit loop, cult-crazy, short arsed, shit eating grinning fuck knuckle. The man is purely cuntifiable.

And yes, I am still annoyed he's playing Jack Reacher.





*Allegedly.
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#13
I think they declared it a cult, so same end result, really. You'd expect ze Huns to be twitchy about that kind of thing.
 

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
A religion founded by someone called Lafayette Ron Hubbard deserves all the ridicule it gets.
Maybe it sounds better in septic-speak.
Said L Ron Hubbard was a piece of work.

When America entered WW2 he was given command of a USN destroyer. Within days he'd depth-charged a large clump of floating seaweed into oblivion while claiming he'd been attacked by a U-Boat. (None of which were within a thousand miles). Strangely enough, the USN then decided his presence on shore was more important to the war effort.

Raise this with anyone from Scientology and they'll tell you the USN falsified the records to make L. Ron look bad.

And for a religion that promises you god like powers, it's pretty ironic that the founder (allegedly) died with virtually no teeth, hair fallen out and otherwise a physical wreck...

Wordsmith
 
#16
I think it signifies that he will be permitted to pay another several million dollars to the Cult of Scientology & then reach level 8. It's a bit like the Masons.
And with level 8 being told the truth about:

Billions of Lord Xenu's peolpe coming to earth in a DC-8 type aircraft/spaceship 75 millions years ago
Being placed around volcano's and killed by hydrogen bombs
The dead's souls were collected by Xenu's 'electronic ribbon' and taken to a cinema to watch films
Some escaped and locked Xenu away in a 'electronic mountain trap' thought to be somehwere in the Pyrenees.
Lord Xenu is still locked up yet to tbe released

Look, I saved Cruise millions by just looking it up on Wiki - Scary Cult Shit

Scamming gullible cunts out of millions aside, I'm still surprised anyone actually believes any of the shite Hubbard wrote.

It makes the Bible look like a well-researched and acredited scientific paper :)
 
#17
And with level 8 being told the truth about: (Snip)
Ye Gods, I thought they just did some rolly-up trouser leg stuff, spoke gibberish for a bit, had dinner & gave some money to the Distressed Ex-Constables' Association. Oh you mean Scientologist level 8...
 

cent05zr70

On ROPS
On ROPs
#18
And for a religion that promises you god like powers, it's pretty ironic that the founder (allegedly) died with virtually no teeth, hair fallen out and otherwise a physical wreck...

Wordsmith
Shit! l better hurry up and invent a religion. Any ideas out there?
 
#19
Date rape a stunningly fit bird who will never in a million years admit the child is yours, then write 4000 pages of bollocks explaining away the awkward truth and saving you the maintenance payments. Worked for Mary and Joseph.
 
#20
From the book of L. Ron

You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion
 

Similar threads

New Posts

Latest Threads

Top