Tom Cruise

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by samain11, Jul 12, 2012.

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  1. It is reported in the Daily Wail that His Cruiseness has reached "operating thetan" level 7 and has telekinetic as well as telepathic powers, and is progressing to "godlike" status. Given the obvious comment that his telepathic powers gave no warning of katie fucking off with the sprog, why didn't he just join REME?
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  2. He couldn't handle the fuckaboutfactor of phase 2
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  3. I finally figured out what that actually signifies.

    It means that Mr Cruise can now insert his right index finger into his ear, and hold himself out at arm's length for 24 hours.

    Or maybe, put his elbows in his ears and suspend himself in space.

    TBH, I'm not usually one to mock another person's heartfelt religious beliefs, it that's what they are, but.........

  4. The guy is absolutely off his croyfe, what is it with celebrities and their batshit crazy religions?
  5. Because they've got money and therefore attract con-artists and charlatans like bluebottles to a new-laid dog-egg, all glisteny, because they're professional exhibitionists who are desperate for approval and can thus be flattered into believing that they've been 'chosen' for their wonderfulness, intellect etc rather than for their wealth and invincible stupidity, and because they're for the most part as thick as two short planks and easily fooled.
  6. I think it signifies that he will be permitted to pay another several million dollars to the Cult of Scientology & then reach level 8. It's a bit like the Masons.
  7. If he's so bloody marvelous why can't he manage relationships?
    Scientology is one of the biggest cons of all time.
  8. fu2

    fu2 LE

    fucking nutters the lot of them.
  9. I think it means he can now finger little boys bum holes, as well as little girls.*

    The fruit loop, cult-crazy, short arsed, shit eating grinning fuck knuckle. The man is purely cuntifiable.

    And yes, I am still annoyed he's playing Jack Reacher.

  10. Plus John Travolta and cosmic snot.


    Scarcely an improvement, frankly.
  11. He's a shortarse and craves approval (and 5A's glistening warty knob.)
  12. A coincidence that both of them are "in the closet" so to speak?

    Didn't the boxheads ban Scientology? I assume any German scientologists get rounded up and sent to "special camps".
  13. I think they declared it a cult, so same end result, really. You'd expect ze Huns to be twitchy about that kind of thing.
  14. A religion founded by someone called Lafayette Ron Hubbard deserves all the ridicule it gets.
    Maybe it sounds better in septic-speak.
  15. Wordsmith

    Wordsmith LE Book Reviewer

    Said L Ron Hubbard was a piece of work.

    When America entered WW2 he was given command of a USN destroyer. Within days he'd depth-charged a large clump of floating seaweed into oblivion while claiming he'd been attacked by a U-Boat. (None of which were within a thousand miles). Strangely enough, the USN then decided his presence on shore was more important to the war effort.

    Raise this with anyone from Scientology and they'll tell you the USN falsified the records to make L. Ron look bad.

    And for a religion that promises you god like powers, it's pretty ironic that the founder (allegedly) died with virtually no teeth, hair fallen out and otherwise a physical wreck...