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Toilets and sinks on military aircraft

I travel frequently on CIv Air to and from the Middle East, Top tip get in before the locals do as once they have been in the shitters look like well Shit Houses, water all over the floor, shit on the seats and around the rim, paper towel covered in shit in the disposal bins. 3rd world my Ass try prehistoric

More than once on Emirates I've gone up the aisle to find a vacant toilet when in need of a urgent visit, and the green (vacant) sign has been showing. Relieved to find a vacant toilet but on pushing the door open finding a woman from the Indian sub-continent in a sari who has failed to lock the door. This is usually followed by " try locking the cfuking door next time, you biatch".
RigPig you should be mentioned in dispatches.

Take two of those: you won't crap for a week.
Or soft wood wedge and mallet.

Take an orange from the box

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