Toilet Phobia- FFS!

B

Brandt

Guest
#1
Radio 4 have been running a story all morning claiming that 4 million people in this country suffer from 'Toilet phobia'- being scared of using public conveniences.

"It's not a laughing matter" said Claire Mayo from the National Phobic Society. Of course not Claire. We'd never do that.

Anyone here got Toilet Phobia? Maybe there is a military strain of shovel- recce phobia?
 
#3
Used to work with a bloke who could only poo at home. Couldn't manage one at work at all.

Personally I prefer to go at work 'cos it saves on paper at home.
 
#4
Vimeiro said:
Used to work with a bloke who could only poo at home. Couldn't manage one at work at all.
I can understand that. There's no books in the bog at work.
 
#6
Going for a sh1t a work is great if you take a copy of soldier mag with you, at least an hour away from the desk - and getting paid for it.
 
#7
putteesinmyhands said:
Vimeiro said:
Used to work with a bloke who could only poo at home. Couldn't manage one at work at all.
I can understand that. There's no books in the bog at work.
You should work here, we've loads. However Dostievsky gets a bit heavy going. Except after a post Vindaloo one, takes my mind off the sting.
 
#8
BB51 said:
Going for a sh1t a work is great if you take a copy of soldier mag with you, at least an hour away from the desk - and getting paid for it.
Two points are raised here.
1. "Soldier" doesn't qualify as porn.
2. If it takes an hour to knock one out, you should see a doctor.
 
#9
Saturday morning 'downloads' are frowned upon here due to Health & Safety/ COSHH regulations.

Something to do with corrosive/toxic waste material handling procedures...
 
#10
putteesinmyhand -Two points are raised here.
1. "Soldier" doesn't qualify as porn.
2. If it takes an hour to knock one out, you should see a doctor.

It does not take me an hour to drop one, I just like to dodge work mate.
 
#11
He didn't get it did he?
 
#13
Sh1thousephobia (technical term) is understandable when given Trainspotting's 'worste toilet in Scotland' effect.
Perhaps an interesting topic in its own right? On tour, bad stomach, desperate to go before loading kecks... there was more sh1t around this toilet than it could ever have contained. However, duty (and despair) calls.
I can't describe the cramp, having maintained the ski-jump position to avoid touching the seat.
Nasty.
 
#14
Surely it must depend upon the toilet involved?

Now I can see that stainless steel vandal proof equipment, the cold draughty cubicle in a stinking toilet block adorned with somewhat alarming invitations scribed on the sparse partitions (all illuminated by a single 40 watt bulb) and strangers smiling at you on the way in might not inspire the nervous crapper.

But the cosy mahogany seat atop Villeroy & Boch porcelain in a fully wood panelled and delicately scented washroom with fluffy towels and soft paper? Please.......
 
B

Brandt

Guest
#15
IMHO we should send the squeamish civvy 'toilet phobia' types for a bit of aversion therapy: summer, in Iraq, in a chemical turdis where the inside temp is about 60 degrees C, someone before you has done the D&V splattergun and left you just the Voxpop page of 'Soldier' to wipe your arrse with. Nice :wink:
 
#16
I think that there are a couple of obvious precursors to "Toilet Phobia" for women.........


1) Assuming hover position at all times, one hand or two braced against wall if unfit.

2) Angle one's bottom so that pee goes down the side of the bowl without making a tinkling sound.

3) If needing to take a dump, placing half the roll of paper into bowl before sitting down in order to muffle splash.

4) Wrapping right hand in wads of paper to catch said dump before it makes a splashing sound.


Personally speaking, I couldn't care less what comes out, how loud it is or how smelly but as you know there are some very peculiar women out there! :D
 
#17
Brandt said:
IMHO we should send the squeamish civvy 'toilet phobia' types for a bit of aversion therapy: summer, in Iraq, in a chemical turdis where the inside temp is about 60 degrees C, someone before you has done the D&V splattergun and left you just the Voxpop page of 'Soldier' to wipe your arrse with. Nice :wink:
Where the turdis is sited next to the taxiway at Basrah International and the Antonov is using its outer engine on full power to turn round..... What a sight! How we laughed!
 
#18
I can understand this phobia up to a point... although think it is more of a preference than a phobia.

Peeing in a public loo is one thing - but heaven forbid I ever have to take a dump in one. The state of most of this countries public toilets are vomit worthy and a revolting state of affairs - only to be used in dire need. Can always brew/bake it a bit longer and wait to get home before pebble dashing the bowl in the comfort of ones own home.

Having said that - the worst experience was the range thunder-boxes/chemi loos at Sennybridge in the height of summer..... obviously hadnt been emptied for some time and the smell combined with sheer number of flies ... ended up having to don the S10 for the duration of said dump.
 
#19
I was involved with the construction of the Peak Tramway Headstation in Hong Kong a few years back. To provide for the needs of the labour force, the management had hired in two turdises (turdii?), not really sufficient for 200+ male and female construction workers employed on the site. Although these things were hired, I suspect that the company hadn't entered into a separate contract to have them emptied. They were permanently full to the brim - not only was the floor covered with Schhhh - you know what, but the surrounding ground was awash.

No problem, I thought. Over the road is a spanking new shopping arcade, constructed with wealthy tourists in mind - their bogs will be sparkling, if the exterior and the malls are anything to go by. Enter the bog and, indeed, everything is the ultimate in sanitary - floors mopped, sinks polished and fragrance in the air. But then you open a cubicle and find shoe prints and cr@p all over the seats. Yes, the bogs have been used by the wealthy HK chinese who have not been taught how to use western-style crappers.

What to do? Well, when in Rome.....
 
#20
Mrs B used to work in a very expensive London hotel frequented by large groups from foreign states, some taking over floors at a time with their extended families.

One of the eternal problem the housekeeping staff had to put up with was the result of guests unaccustomed to western style toilets perching and aiming.

The General Manager dreaded having to deal with the families of those who had slipped off and injured themselves in the process. Always a great deal of shouting and threats of legal action, demands for discounts, refunds etc. etc.
 

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