Today's top tip.

#1
When you tell your wife that you are taking her out for lunch,don't be surprised if she gets the pig when you stop at a layby caravan on the A259 for bacon and egg banjos,two mugs of Nato standard and half a Kitkat.
I have a feeling I am going to suffer for this.
 
#2
Vanman you are a romantic fool and ruin it for the rest of us by spoiling your woman. If this gets out next time I go for a meal at a layby cafe not only will the girlfriend want to get out of the car, she will be demanding food and a NATO standard for herself. Cheers!!!
 
#3
wimmin, ''looks up at the sky, makes loud tuting sound'' never happy are they ?
 

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