Todays Top Tip

#1
When your slightly hard of hearing Mother visits for a long weekend,and you knock her bedroom door,and she does not hear you,and you walk in,be prepared to exit hastily,after seeing her her nude and full frontal.
I think I need therapy now.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#3
Top Tip, Do not go through sleep depravation, drink a few beers, go to bed and during the night get up and lag over the bottom of the wifes side of the bed.
 

CountryGal

MIA
Book Reviewer
#4
Check milk is in date before pouring over cereal ;o(
 
#5
vvaannmmaann said:
When your slightly hard of hearing Mother visits for a long weekend,and you knock her bedroom door,and she does not hear you,and you walk in,be prepared to exit hastily,after seeing her her nude and full frontal.
I think I need therapy now.
Did you get wood?
 
#6
If the ex mother in law wears a hearing aid and she waves her hand by it it causes feedback, stand several paces behind her and whistle at same frequency several times :)
 
#7
vvaannmmaann said:
When your slightly hard of hearing Mother visits for a long weekend,and you knock her bedroom door,and she does not hear you,and you walk in,be prepared to exit hastily,after seeing her her nude and full frontal.
I think I need therapy now.
I'm just glad she's fat so you didn't spot me hiding behind her.
 
#9
vvaannmmaann said:
When your slightly hard of hearing Mother visits for a long weekend,and you knock her bedroom door,and she does not hear you,and you walk in,be prepared to exit hastily,after seeing her her nude and full frontal.
I think I need therapy now.
I feel your pain. I saw the girlfriend's mother full frontal at the weekend. I haven't been able to perform since.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#11
Krek_Brizzle said:
vvaannmmaann said:
When your slightly hard of hearing Mother visits for a long weekend,and you knock her bedroom door,and she does not hear you,and you walk in,be prepared to exit hastily,after seeing her her nude and full frontal.
I think I need therapy now.
I feel your pain. I saw the girlfriend's mother full frontal at the weekend. I haven't been able to perform since.
That's ok, they both have been well-looked after. And, I don't understand your reluctance with g/f mother. Not bad at all.
 
#12
johnboyzzz said:
If the ex mother in law wears a hearing aid and she waves her hand by it it causes feedback, stand several paces behind her and whistle at same frequency several times :)
Top tip:

If you can get your hands on said hearing aid, switch it to program 3, take ex mother in law to local supermarket then tut loudly and say no not again, ( or indeed to add to the guilt by doing a runner) when said hearing aid sets of the security alarms
 
#14
spent_case said:
vvaannmmaann said:
When your slightly hard of hearing Mother visits for a long weekend,and you knock her bedroom door,and she does not hear you,and you walk in,be prepared to exit hastily,after seeing her her nude and full frontal.
I think I need therapy now.
Did you get wood?
If you didn't you love it up the poop chute.
 
#15
wompingwillow said:
johnboyzzz said:
If the ex mother in law wears a hearing aid and she waves her hand by it it causes feedback, stand several paces behind her and whistle at same frequency several times :)
Top tip:

If you can get your hands on said hearing aid, switch it to program 3, take ex mother in law to local supermarket then tut loudly and say no not again, ( or indeed to add to the guilt by doing a runner) when said hearing aid sets of the security alarms
I like it :lol: wish I had thought of that before she popped off this mortal coil
 
#16
Don't sit across from the mother-in-law when she's had a few drinks and she's sitting on a low sofa.

Nothing worse than seeing a 65 year old woman's gusset :omfg: What has been seen cannot be unseen!
 
#17
I once gave help to an old lady (who had fallen over) stand up, she was lying there with her legs akimbo and her growler looked like a mouldy turkey neck!

I was about 12 years old!

Still have nightmares about it now.

sorry to go off thread.
 
#18
hallveg said:
I once gave help to an old lady (who had fallen over) stand up, she was lying there with her legs akimbo and her growler looked like a mouldy turkey neck!

I was about 12 years old!

Still have nightmares about it now.

sorry to go off thread.
F*ck the thread, you owe me a new keyboard.
 
#19
Krek_Brizzle said:
hallveg said:
I once gave help to an old lady (who had fallen over) stand up, she was lying there with her legs akimbo and her growler looked like a mouldy turkey neck!

I was about 12 years old!

Still have nightmares about it now.

sorry to go off thread.
F*ck the thread, you owe me a new keyboard.
How did you type that then? Keyboard Walt
 
#20
theiftaker said:
Krek_Brizzle said:
hallveg said:
I once gave help to an old lady (who had fallen over) stand up, she was lying there with her legs akimbo and her growler looked like a mouldy turkey neck!

I was about 12 years old!

Still have nightmares about it now.

sorry to go off thread.
F*ck the thread, you owe me a new keyboard.
How did you type that then? Keyboard Walt
Figure of speech old boy. I could LOL, but it irks me.
 
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