Today's Lesson Learned

Never discuss fresh fruit with women you don't know.

Went to the local supermarket and was making salad selections in the produce department. Said just two words to the women in the tankini next to me and all hell broke loose. " Nice melons ".. Thank gawd I didn't comment on the firmness of my cucumber.

Anyway, according to the manager, I now have to find a new store to shop in...
I am barred from B & Q.

I walked into the Reading Store last year, and some old boy in an orange apron asked me if I wanted "decking"

Luckily I got the first punch in.
Appealed to my sense of humour...that's not a good thing, is it?

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