To whore or not to whore

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aunty Stella, Aug 14, 2005.

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  1. Wait for the next 3 weeks for the missus to clear all of the snot out of her

    11.1%
  2. Pay the 600 over here for a fcuking good night but only with one bird

    11.1%
  3. Go to the land of clogs where the women will be great but having to hold MDN up all night?

    77.8%

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  1. At the moment I have a double whammy reason why I can’t get a shag off the missus.

    The first is that she is sulking at me because after I had a go at her for turning in 45 minutes late after her mates hen night (she probably needed to let the large African man finish blowing his load), I then accidentally forgot to return for 18 hours after my last average night out.

    The second is that she now has a dose of the flu that I have just shifted, the sort that makes you look and sound like you are about to die and that increases your snot output to something akin to a USSR biological warfare testing facility in the 1980’s

    Long and short of it, I’m not getting any and my right hand is becoming far too familiar.

    Now, her mates are out of the question, mainly due to the fact that the ones that don’t already hate me because of her descriptions of me hate me because of the fact that at some time or another I have barfed into their shoes or have molested their pets during a BBQ.

    I was lucky in the fact that I pulled the current Mrs Stella whilst I was still in the fit and trim squaddie mode with the ginge hidden underneath a number 0 and the six pack on the gut as opposed to in the fridge.

    So, here is the quandary. Being a ginger, short haired, tattooed ex squaddie with a multiple broken nose that looks exactly like you would expect an ex squaddie to look like, it would probably take me 1.8 million years of going out every night to pull a decent looking bird.

    On the other hand, I could spend 600 quid to buy a whore for the whole night over here, or 40 quid to get to Amsterdam and then around 60 quid a time to buy whores over there for around 30 minutes at a time.

    Now, remembering that I would have to take MDN to Amsterdam (on the usual excuse of going to Arnheim, of course), which do you think would be the better option?


    1. Waiting for the next 3 weeks for the missus to clear all of the snot out of her

    2. Paying the 600 over here for a fcuking good night but only with one bird

    3. Going to the land of clogs where the women will be great but having to hold MDN up all night?

    Being the honourable guy that I am, I will totally abide by the panels decision. Honest.
     
  2. Go Dutch. Only solution. MDN will be happy if you left him in a fag bar again. He didnt complain last time.

    Win, win situation.
     
  3. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    As long as you're just supporting Lardy Boy's rolls of fat so he can get to his wallet to buy more beer, and not actually holding
    up his chipolata for whatever odd 'delights' the kaaskop ladyboy is offering, then I'd go for the Dutch trip.

    You can even make a profit by selling him to some of the bunny-hugging lefties that are so keen on feeding the Ethiopians.
    As long as they're into blubber the lazy barstards won't need any handouts until well into the next decade.

    Go for the Cloggie clack Aunty.
     
  4. Cloggie Land Aunty. 600 nicker over there will get you a great day on the lash and a night of passion with a range of ladies.
     
  5. I think the Windows of the booths in Amsterdam still have Aunties lick and drool marks all over them.

    Even the ladies of the night knocked him back :D

    Mind you 'How much to leather fcuk out of you and your mum' isn't what they get asked as a routine enquiry on a daily basis. Also 'If I tip you fifty will you chew my date' wasn't a winning line.

    Aunty I think its blasphemy, bordering on an insult to the 'fallens' memory to coincide a trip to Arnhem with a detour to Dam square.
     
  6. Yes, cloggy land - how's about...ummm... lemme think... Saturday 17th September? Oh, that's the date when Op. Market Hardon's happening! Funny that! :twisted:

    No excuses now, Auntie Stella!
     
  7. I would say go dutch, at least you'll get your moneys worth.
     
  8. A change is as good as a rest!
    Go for it mate.
     
  9. Old_bloke...... don't quite see the relevance but fcuk me thatas weird..

    I could spend all afternoon just giving her dead legs :D

    Not even going to ask how you found a site about disabled, anorexic performers
     
  10. I'd love to see how much flesh there is on her arse cheeks.
     
  11. I wonder if they had to get a drip into her and slap her about a bit before she could do the Break-dance demo? :D
     
  12.  
  13. Looks like I'm booking a plane ticket then.

    You understand of course that I don't actually want to go to Amsterdam, I am only doing it due to peer pressure from you lot.

    I shall go there, blow a grand and then sell my story to The Sun