I was getting some industrial strength jip from my three year old lad the other night. Being a modern parent, I resisted all urges and kept explaining to him patiently that he shouldn't write on the kitchen wall and that he was being unreasonable by throwing things at me. Throughout our dialogue, there was a mental devil on my shoulder shouting "Skiff him Convoy, that'll learn him." The angel on the other side was saying, "For fcuks sake Convoy, you left all that filthy behaviour behind you when you signed off." I eventually sided with the angel and retreated to another room. The argument was settled when I simply turned the new album by Goldfrapp up until I couldn't hear him. But it did lead me to think how many of lifes problems could be solved by skiffing. Controversial perhaps, where kids are concerned. The fact that they generally don't have moustaches unless they are Greek would reduce its effectiveness as a punishment. How do other posters feel? Is the drawing of a sh*t covered finger across the upper lip of an annoying person, an honourable way to behave? I would be interested to hear any particularly foul anecdotes featuring skiffage. This may help to drag the NAAFI back into the gutter where it belongs.