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To serve and protect


West Midlands Police, it emerged last week, is pioneering a bold new anti-theft initiative on university campuses. The force is printing crime-prevention messages on condoms, with such warnings as: "Size doesn't matter. Thieves will steal your phone, laptop, iPod or car, so protect your valuables."

Although the police are understandably eager to impress the need for vigilance upon the young and feckless, one might question whether this scheme represents the wisest use of budgetary resources. In the heat of passion, will students really pause to brood on the dire consequences of leaving a mobile telephone lying on a car seat?

On the other hand - if the youthful libido is indeed more fragile than is commonly perceived - what could be more immediately injurious to passion than a stern, sharp reminder that one has left a bicycle stationed without a padlock, or a wallet unattended? Perhaps the West Midlands Police is not pursuing an anti-crime initiative at all: it is on a top-secret, undercover operation to discourage pre-marital sex.
Just waiting for the criticism by Sir Ian Blair :D

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