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  1. Not original, but thought you might enjoy it:

    Ah, Tit Monday. It's not that far off now, that glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the Dart, or sitting on the Luas, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months. You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.

    And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At last, Tit Monday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy.For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin. After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a t hought. Your urban landscape is suddenly li ghtened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.

    Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road... And you know it is nearly summer.

    For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday. Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April. And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year),so that when they're all standing outside your local after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples. So when will Tit Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early. There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps

    As the poet said: one bold slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make.
     
  2. Quality!
     
  3. Genius! was wandering why I felt happier recently despite having a ton of work to do!!
     
  4. It's the darling buds of May!
     
  5. Thank you! I was up to my eyeballs in Staff Reports when this piece of literary and truthful genius came onto the screen! As a breast man, I was drawn to the title. I thought it might be some berk who hangs nuts on his tree in the garden and then shouts "tits in the Garden" and thinks he's the funniest thing since sliced bread at breakfast time!

    Now my senses are heightened I shall monitor "Metcheck" daily for temperature reports! I'll know it has arrvied when the little Doris across the corridor sheds her knee length, high necked frumpy jumper and wears her nice blouses and reveals subtle glimpses of breast side as we all crane to view the promised land further in. Bonus - she's 18 this year and we can take her to pub. legally!
     
  6. I think it arrived today where I am! Just had a meeting with my group at uni, our female (see I can be politically correct me! :) ) member suddenly took on a whole new appeal!
     
  7. Linked to this is the phenomenon of the sudden appearance of attractive women after months of dearth. We are all familiar with the inability of the female of the species to regulate her own body temperature like any normal mammal, supporting the theory that they are some sort of cross-over, in the manner of a duck-billed platypus, and possibly part reptile.

    So it seems they hibernate.

    Rumour has it that there is a big bunker under Hyde Park (and smaller ones locally) where they spend the summer on exercises bikes and tanning, and also putting together their summer wardrobes, selecting those blouses that allow just that bit of a blimp (never enough alas) from the side.

    It's that time of year when the left-hand side window seats on the top deck of the bus become suddenly popular.
     
  8. It is also the only good thing about the Underground in summer! Especially on the escalators!!!!
     
  9. Ah so you do that too? :lol:
     
  10. Tit Monday has yet to arrive in gloomy ulster :(
     
  11. Sadly, a quick check of the five-day forecast shows nothing above the mid fifties.

    Tit Monday may yet be another week or two away...

    sm.
     
  12. It's not on - there's some birds in work who's baps are due some sun...
     
  13. Has this happened yet???

    I'll put in a strong case for today!!!! Some lovely bits and bobs on show.
     
  14. I agree, i dropped mini veg of this morning at school, i was very impressed with the showings
     
  15. Waiting for my transport into the office and actually enjoyed it for once! Lovely!