Update to diarise, just 'cos I'm awake and have posted this on a depression thread elsewhere in the ether.
Hi All,
A bit about the sort of depression I'm subject to, or the closest I come to it. I've just woken up and am about to start my third cup of coffee before I go to bed. First some background, I think.
I've been hovering on the verge of anaemia off and on for many years and as anaemia is a feature of multiple myeloma, an Hgb level of 7.5 triggered a blood transfusion and the diagnosis of the cancer in 2016.
In 2017 I had a period of a few months where it was around 12.5 but in the last 6 months has been in the mid 9s and for the last 3 months, it's gone down again to 8.5 ish.
This has triggered an investigation and the main route is a gastro one - cameras up and down. I've had them before and while doable, they're not pleasant and I usually ask for sedation. The most unpleasant bit is the bowel prep before hand.
Monday then, all I had to eat was mac cheese, eight Tuc biscuits and more mac cheese. As well as a litre of Moviprep. Vile stuff.
Previous use has not been too bad as I had a blockage and thus, two toilet visits was all that was needed. Not so when you've got a bag. Stoma bags are only so big and there's no control over output It can happen any time or all the time, so first thing, don't move far from the toilet. And be prepared for a blow out. Aptly named as they're explosive in nature. They cannot be predicted. One has to accept that sometimes, -hit happens. Luckily, all well on that score.
And so to my point - Monday and today, Tuesday, not having eaten, dehydrated, and feeling generally unwell, I felt like I wanted to curl up and be warm, and be snuggled and as time went on, considered cancelling the procedure.
So while not depressed as such and not pondering on the procedure at all, I've had low mood for the best part of 2 days.
The procedure - First an attempt to look at the large colon via my stoma. I'd had the sedation, after 3 attempts at canulisation, and was also on oxygen. In he went. Or tried to. Couldn't get further than a couple of cms due to stricture. Good thing I've kept my output on the liquid side. There was some inflammation, that I could also see on the little telly and I watched as several biopsies were taken.
And so that was it for the colonoscopy. No discomfort at all. So on to the gastroscopy, a camera via the mouth to the duodenum. First an anaelgesic spray to the throat which numbs it and some of the mouth, just like at the dentist.
This procedure was singularly unpleasant, with me trying to vomit for most of it and the nurse holding my head while applying suction to my mouth. Luckily this only lasted for a couple of minutes, biopsies were taken and immediately they withdrew the camera, I felt ok. No physical after effects apart from some minor bleeding and mentally, feeling fine due to the sedation. Not immediately sleepy.
Daughter brought me home almost as soon as I was dressed, where I immediately had a coffee and mac cheese. You're probably rightly thinking that mac cheese makes up a disproportionate part of my diet. But it's got to be Heinz. On white, Warburton toast.
Immediately afterwards, my daughter started explaing something really, really important and I fell asleep as she spoke. No idea what it was about.
Woke up after midnight with a mouth like an Arab's dap and started on the coffee. I think I'll have a fourth.
And I'm back, Nescafe's finest at my side. Mood is obviously still good, it must be true what they say; happiness is opiate flavoured. On them for life? That'll do me. And as I 'ent ded yet', life goes on.
Back at the hozzy tomorrow for a biphosphonate infusion - if they can find a vein.
'Night All
Taff