Tin Foil Hat-Wearer of the Year, 2005

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Vegetius, Aug 16, 2005.

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  1. Hello. I think Walts have been done to death here for a bit (but kudos to Warpspasm for kicking off the epic "Walt Star" thread), but I think I've discovered a sub-genus of the Walt who might be ripe for fresh investigation by ARRSE.

    This is the Internet Conspiracy Theorist. These people are sort of meta-walts because they convince themselves that they have knowledge (that they don't) that nobody else has (because it doesn't exist) because they are super-clever (they aren't).

    Military topics are of course meat and drink to the determined ICT. This thread, for example, was partly inspired by this thread in the int corps forum:

    http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/viewtopic/t=20488/start=20.html in

    LongGone linked to a kooky theory about Templar Barracks (nice one).

    The link to the investigation into the uber-top secret Ashford base is here:


    Have a read, it's hilarious! It also highlights the essentially deranged nature of the tin-foil hat wearer who seeks to "go and investigate" the now condemned, quasi-demolished Kent barracks.

    Have fellow ARRSER's got a favourite internet conspiracy theory, expounded by the utterly deranged in the face of concrete evidence to the contrary? Let's find the champion of the Tin Foil Hat, to whom I will Fedex a particularly fine Napoleon-style piece of tin-foil headgear with a message in felt-tip proclaiming them the winner.

  2. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Have you forgotten Peter Dow already V?

  3. I think Peter will indeed pick up a few votes but I think we can do much, much better.

  4. Tony Bliar: WMDs etc... oops wrong year!

    Those who seriously believe the world is run by lizards from the Pyramids who had a hand in everything including the demise of the "People's Princess", and led by David Icke, must be prime candidates.

    (will that suffice, o reptilian master?)
  5. Sorry, David Icke is a bit of a re-tread, even though he is agreeably loopy. I'm looking for fresh meat...and trust me I've found some corkers for your future delectation.

  6. The underground lock picking area..........Classic :lol:
  7. These loonies get my vote.

  8. Good to see Chemtrails again! :D
  9. Thanks, V, that site is the funniest I have seen for ages. I am now fired with enthusiasm to get on these boards (a la Ultimate Force.com) and have some fun.

    My personal fave conspiracy theory - not seen it on the net, but mayhap I'll start it - concerned Woodhouse Eaves (which I think you know of?)

    Some of the Loughborough crusties I used to drink with were convinced that Garat's Hay was

    a) an SAS base (yawn)
    b) controlled all Britains' spies in Russia
    c) trained female soldiers as sex - trap spy babes for stings against the IRA and the Russians. (!)

    Ref. c) (above), one can only assume they hadn't clapped eyes on too many of our luverly lady comrades in green hats. Although some would, undoubtedly, get it.

    Speaking of babes, where does Vegetius get his pictures by the posts?
  10. I wouldn't like to be a microbiologist. And I'm not one. And never have been. So don't kill me!

    They mistakenly included some nuclear scientists, presumably concluding that microbes have nucleii.


  11. http://www.fourwinds10.com/news/05-government/C-fraud/01-911/2003/05C1-03-26-03-ghost-riders-in-the-sky.html

    Check this guy out. He's a professor, right? He also thinks that on 9/11 the US Government arranged to have everyone on board the hi-jacked airplanes killed with Sarin gas before they were flown into the WTC via remote control. Genius! The paper is in it's fourth iteration and people seriously discuss it.

    p.s. if anybody wants some lovely AJ avatars I'll happily put them in the gallery in various sizes.

  12. What? Me and the rest of Squad 49 busted our way out of there using only an expired Visa Card and a retina scan from a dead squirrel! The punji-spike traps were pretty leery, and we lost two guys to the Death Ray operated by that ancient REME Cpl, but godammit we got out of there!

  13. Having been a bit involved with the ongoing situation over at ww2in colour, it led me to think of a brill idea.

    Its a simple game requiring nothing more than Google, a fake online foreign writing style and an endless imagination.

    1. Think of the most outrageous 'conspiracy' (doesnt matter what it is, make it up)

    2. Google any semi serious bulletin board

    3. Become a member of said board

    4. Push your chosen 'conspiracy' to the members.

    5. If you have the skill (doesnt really matter if you do or dont), fabricate some juicy 'secret exclusive pictures or literature'.

    6. Ignore any form of rational, logical or reasonable facts or evidence against your conspiracy (women, you'll find that quite easy to do).

    7. Points are scored for;
    a. Time spent on the board before being banned.
    b. Amount of members from the board who get sucked into your game'by replying
    c. Death threats
    d. Convertees to your theories.

    NB. If you do decide to play, ffs DO NOT mention, link or even intimate you are a member of Arrse!!!
  14. ...but my nomination must be the convoluted thinking behind the Dunblane massacre that points to a Masonic conspiracy and the Iraq War.



    1. Bliar allegedly involved (either directly or protecting) high level paedo ring.

    2. Said paedo ring allegedly includes trouserleg-rollers and senior judges and politicians, also one egregious T. Hamilton Esq.

    3. Dunblane school massacre and alleged subsequent cover-up.

    4. Bliar allegedly blackmailed by US over paedo ring, Dunblane etc in runup to March 2003.

    5. The rest is history!

    The one glaring flaw that exists in this conspiracy - obvious to all - is that
    Bliar would require blackmailing in order to join Dubya in a misguided adventure on the world stage! :D
  15. UFO magazine had some well mad theorys the best was probably an article where some tin foil wearer. Covertly took photos of east anglia water digging underground water tanks or something :lol: :lol: :roll:
    although the US air force employs its very own tin foil wearers look un wendlsham forest UFO sightings for some classic tinfoil madness. apprantly the mod investigation put the whole thing down to a moon a light house and rabbit holes. crab officers comments highly censored to spare spam blushes :twisted: