Time Traveller Essentials

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Gundulph, Jan 27, 2010.

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  1. If you were to unfortunately find yourself transported back to Medieval times but were able to bring with you a book full of inventions and discoveries that you could build and carry out yourself, what would you want to see in the book?

    A thread about Beer Making this morning brought the idea on, a diagram of a still with instructions on how to make alcohol would be in Chapter 1 :D right alongside the formula for Penicillin...

    So, what would you as an ARRSER catapulted back in time want to see in such a book?
  2. 20 years in the past with the draw results from the EURO Lotto would do :D
  3. I'm fairly sure that they had beer in the medieval times?!

    I'd take simple recipes for soap and toothpaste - hence breeding chicks with half decent smiles and lickable fannies.
  4. Ooooh, nice one.

    Just think - no 'puters, mobile fones, Big Bruvver or po-faced bitches from 'Uman Remains.

    Mine would be to develop the (hopefully) first truly viable gun, or 'gonne' as it would be termed then. With this new gonne, I would take me to the Scottish Lowlands and hunt down a cetain Brown/Browne/Broon family and introduce the 14th Century to the phrase 'going postal'.

    ..............but that presupposes that a previous time-travelling arrser had already introduced a rudimentary postal service.
  5. My degree notes on metalergy, metal casting, Chemistry, a set of 7.62 loading dies, and a GPMG. And me and King Henry would rule the world
  6. So by medieval, we aren't in King Arthur's court and we're not Connecticut Yankees.

    Still, in addition to the items mentioned above, plans for a water powered electrical generator, and a design for the electric chair. First users of the chair to be certain ancestors of two people called John Ebenezer Brown and Leo Blair, just so their sons never rise to a position where they can abuse any power they may (or may not) be elected to.

    "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." ~ Arthur C. Clarke
  7. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    Which quotation would have you tied to a stake with a lot of faggots buring by your feet and not in a good way.

    Tropper's metallurgy and an idiot's guide to gunpowder would be good, as well as a basic book on surgical procedures. The latter would make you a very rich doctor, if you combined it with basic hygiene procedures for your patients
  8. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    the hygiene and surgical procedures would be excellent, as would the metallurgy and firearms expertise.

    suppose you added naval architecture into that mix, and were able to give Sir Francis Drake a fleet of crude dreadnoughts by the time he faced the Armada? and following on from that, supposing people were able to develop them effectively, where would the Navy have been around the turn of the 1800s?
  9. .........but on no account develop a Dark Ages iPod.
  10. I took it as read that we would all be able to use the skills we had picked up over our lives so far, so basic medical, military, seamanship,and engineering skills ect would be taken on bourd
  11. Fronty

    Fronty Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    In addition to Tropper's list, I'd have to throw in something later in the book about basic chemical engineering, possibly to do with cracking crude down to a decent fuel-grade liquid. couple that with the metallurgy knowledge and I'd soon have a few tanks knocking around the Pas De Calais.
  12. Huge box of lingerie and soap, perfume etc. If I am going to be stuck in the medieval equivalent of Doncaster I might as well enjoy myself. Maybe a wind up torch or 2
  13. Honest answer? I'd want to see a design which would allow me to build, from readily available local materials, a time machine to get me the fuck out of the mediaeval period. I've been to Otterburn, I certainly wouldn't want to be stuck there the rest of my life!
  14. :D
  15. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    A copy of the Human Rights' Act of course :twisted: