Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Time to put down the sausage

alib

LE
In Discover Low sperm count? Time to put down the sausage.
Can the growth hormones found in meat products affect human reproductive health? The authors of this study set out to answer this question by looking at the sperm counts of men who eat various amounts of meat products. Turns out that the more processed meat the men ate, the lower their sperm counts were, particularly for those men who ejaculated more frequently. Although the scientists weren’t able to relate this result to the hormones in the meat per se, if you’re trying to increase your sperm count, it probably couldn’t hurt to take it easy on the sausage. Pun intended.
...
A warning to meat loving frequent ejaculators.

Strangely there is no mention of the effect of Halal slaughtering on one's vital juices.
 
Ah, well, back to eating veggie burgers, quorn and halal veggie haggis.... oh yes, you can buy veggie haggi... in supermarkets now....!!
 

alib

LE
Ah, well, back to eating veggie burgers, quorn and halal veggie haggis.... oh yes, you can buy veggie haggi... in supermarkets now....!!
Is it recommended for frequent ejaculators? I demand clear labeling for FE friendly products.
 
I have a BLT sandwich fixation with pepperami's and those marston chicken fridge raiders thingys nearly every day for lunch at work (somehow not bored of it and have a hilariously good metabolism rate) and I get laid almost as much as I wank, which is quite alot.

Does this mean I'm sterile?
 

pez_perrett

Old-Salt
I have a BLT sandwich fixation with pepperami's and those marston chicken fridge raiders thingys nearly every day for lunch at work (somehow not bored of it and have a hilariously good metabolism rate) and I get laid almost as much as I ****, which is quite alot.

Does this mean I'm sterile?

Try throwing spunk at random passers by and monitor (stalk) them to see if any end up pregnant.
 
I have a BLT sandwich fixation with pepperami's and those marston chicken fridge raiders thingys nearly every day for lunch at work (somehow not bored of it and have a hilariously good metabolism rate) and I get laid almost as much as I ****, which is quite alot.

Does this mean I'm sterile?
My downfall will be 3" diameter deli pepperoni which I can find at a discount restaurant supplier. Luckily I have an electric meat slicer.

I sometimes fry the pepperoni, blot out the grease between paper towels, chop it up and use it in a pepperoni and cheese omelet. Fantastic.
 
My downfall will be 3" diameter deli pepperoni which I can find at a discount restaurant supplier. Luckily I have an electric meat slicer.

I sometimes fry the pepperoni, blot out the grease between paper towels, chop it up and use it in a pepperoni and cheese omelet. Fantastic.

Want to tag along with me to the clinic to get our sperm count checked?

It's okay, we're all friends here....
 
LBFM knows that I have a high sperm count as she has to chew before she can swallow.
 
LBFM knows that I have a high sperm count as she has to chew before she can swallow.

Have you enjoyed a high meat orientated diet over the years?

Actual meat, not LBFM's beef curtains. (I'm well aware that there is no need to ask if you ejaculate frequently, I sometimes wonder if you do anything else with your time!)
 
Have you enjoyed a high meat orientated diet over the years?

Actual meat, not LBFM's beef curtains. (I'm well aware that there is no need to ask if you ejaculate frequently, I sometimes wonder if you do anything else with your time!)

There is no need for jealousy, I am only doing what you might if you had the chance. =-)

Same as the average Brit bloke I s'pose. Steak n kiddly pud and all that after 1968 when I joined the army and ate cookhouse grub and compo. Before that at home we were so poor we ate gravel and occasionally beanz on toast.

Nowadays, living in SE Asia for the last 20 odd years we eat mainly fresh veg, rice and small amounts of beef and pork and reasonable amounts of fish and seafood. Lamb is in short supply here, but fruit is in glut most of the time, so my semen apparently tastes slightly sweet as I eat a lot of fruit.
 
There is no need for jealousy, I am only doing what you might if you had the chance. =-)

Same as the average Brit bloke I s'pose. Steak n kiddly pud and all that after 1968 when I joined the army and ate cookhouse grub and compo. Before that at home we were so poor we ate gravel and occasionally beanz on toast.

Nowadays, living in SE Asia for the last 20 odd years we eat mainly fresh veg, rice and small amounts of beef and pork and reasonable amounts of fish and seafood. Lamb is in short supply here, but fruit is in glut most of the time, so my semen apparently tastes slightly sweet as I eat a lot of fruit.

Fucking right you are mucker XD.
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
Top