Time to embrace Christmas

#1
Well it's getting closer to that most wonderful time of year. Time to piss money away on undeserving brats, purchase cheesy gifts in the hope of recieving something descent in return (or is that just me?) and more importantly a time to up the consumption of alchohol by a few percent safe in the knowledge that you can justify it because it's a done in the name of Jesus' birthday (hurrah HIC! I mean praise the lord etc).

So it's time to embrace Christmas in an ARRSE way. To kick things off I have recruited our very own ARRSE Santa.



Ladies and Gents the floor is open. What other ways can we ARRSE up Christmas.
 
#5
Talking about undeserving brats, my 3 1/2 year old thinks he can send a letter to Santa and get a reply! are there any sites out there that anyone knows of that does exactly that? 8O
 
#6
Gundulph said:
Talking about undeserving brats, my 3 1/2 year old thinks he can send a letter to Santa and get a reply! are there any sites out there that anyone knows of that does exactly that? 8O
Yes there is, it's called ARRSE.

Imagine the joy on your nippers face when he gets a personal response from Santa. All we need to do now is convince MDN or Flashy to take the job on.
 
#9
Bullet Sponge said:
Gundulph said:
Talking about undeserving brats, my 3 1/2 year old thinks he can send a letter to Santa and get a reply! are there any sites out there that anyone knows of that does exactly that? 8O
Yes there is, it's called ARRSE.

Imagine the joy on your nippers face when he gets a personal response from Santa. All we need to do now is convince MDN or Flashy to take the job on.
LoL, I can imagine his face when he gets an envelope complete with ARRSE stamp, maybe there's scope there for a Business, anyone with undeserving brats can send a letter and get a resounding Foxtrot Oscar of a letter back from Santa... with the message "You're getting Shoite this year as you did this and that" vast improvement needed in time for next Christmas!!! 8)
 
#10
jarrod248 said:
Tell your kids Fr.Christmas died in a skiing accident.
Chav's outside shop yesterday begging for money with an old cushion with a face drawn on it silly season isn't it fireworks doing my napper in, next will be eggs on the windows. I'm gonna get tooled up this year with a catapult and some hard boiled eggs or golf balls.
That's another thing, farking carol singers. What's the best way to deal with them? If I have my seasonal drinking session interupted by a troupe of gurning and screaching brats again I'm going to lose it. :x
 
#11
jarrod248 said:
I don't answer the door to carol singers. Turn the lights out and sit in the dining room and drink, feckers only know the first line anyway. Why all these excuses for begging in the winter? Chav kids with Witches hats soon.
That's the trouble, round my way they have taken to a stealth tactic. They approach the door silently ring the door bell and only start their rancid screaching once you have opened the door.

Of course the natural reponse to this is to slam the door shut and stumble back to the sweet comfort of my drinky, however, by this time my drinky has now been slightly ruined. :(
 

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#12
Bullet Sponge said:
Well it's getting closer to that most wonderful time of year. Time to piss money away on undeserving brats, purchase cheesy gifts in the hope of recieving something descent in return (or is that just me?) and more importantly a time to up the consumption of alchohol by a few percent safe in the knowledge that you can justify it because it's a done in the name of Jesus' birthday (hurrah HIC! I mean praise the lord etc).

So it's time to embrace Christmas in an ARRSE way. To kick things off I have recruited our very own ARRSE Santa.



Ladies and Gents the floor is open. What other ways can we ARRSE up Christmas.
Oi! Why use my photo? Bloomin cheek.


When I was a copper, I told my kids I had breathalyzed Santa, and he was in cells. Never forgiven me.
 
#13
jarrod248 said:
I don't answer the door to carol singers. Turn the lights out and sit in the dining room and drink, feckers only know the first line anyway. Why all these excuses for begging in the winter? Chav kids with Witches hats soon.
Mate I did that a couple of years ago. A couple of little twats came around and started the carol singing bit, you know the one where they sing the first couple of lines, get paid because you want them to fuck off, then they leave.

I kept them singing. They sang one carol, and I just stood and watched. They stopped and looked nervously at each other and I then asked them for another, should have seen their faces, they kept fucking up the words. I got three out of them in full, gave them a 20 pence and some miscellaneous copper. They never came back again.

I had been drinking at the time and I had a couple of mates round, it was fucking hilarious.
 

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