Time to embrace Christmas

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bullet Sponge, Oct 20, 2007.

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  1. Well it's getting closer to that most wonderful time of year. Time to piss money away on undeserving brats, purchase cheesy gifts in the hope of recieving something descent in return (or is that just me?) and more importantly a time to up the consumption of alchohol by a few percent safe in the knowledge that you can justify it because it's a done in the name of Jesus' birthday (hurrah HIC! I mean praise the lord etc).

    So it's time to embrace Christmas in an ARRSE way. To kick things off I have recruited our very own ARRSE Santa.


    Ladies and Gents the floor is open. What other ways can we ARRSE up Christmas.
  2. Yes.

    He was cheap.
  3. Good to see him bringing his own bottle, anyway.

    Can i shag a Reindeer for this year? I've certainly had a couple of Moose before...
  4. Talking about undeserving brats, my 3 1/2 year old thinks he can send a letter to Santa and get a reply! are there any sites out there that anyone knows of that does exactly that? 8O
  5. Yes there is, it's called ARRSE.

    Imagine the joy on your nippers face when he gets a personal response from Santa. All we need to do now is convince MDN or Flashy to take the job on.
  6. Look dear the idea is to make ME enjoy Christmas, not to make me projectile vommit. :x
  7. LoL, I can imagine his face when he gets an envelope complete with ARRSE stamp, maybe there's scope there for a Business, anyone with undeserving brats can send a letter and get a resounding Foxtrot Oscar of a letter back from Santa... with the message "You're getting Shoite this year as you did this and that" vast improvement needed in time for next Christmas!!! 8)
  8. That's another thing, farking carol singers. What's the best way to deal with them? If I have my seasonal drinking session interupted by a troupe of gurning and screaching brats again I'm going to lose it. :x
  9. That's the trouble, round my way they have taken to a stealth tactic. They approach the door silently ring the door bell and only start their rancid screaching once you have opened the door.

    Of course the natural reponse to this is to slam the door shut and stumble back to the sweet comfort of my drinky, however, by this time my drinky has now been slightly ruined. :(
  10. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Oi! Why use my photo? Bloomin cheek.

    When I was a copper, I told my kids I had breathalyzed Santa, and he was in cells. Never forgiven me.
  11. Mate I did that a couple of years ago. A couple of little twats came around and started the carol singing bit, you know the one where they sing the first couple of lines, get paid because you want them to fuck off, then they leave.

    I kept them singing. They sang one carol, and I just stood and watched. They stopped and looked nervously at each other and I then asked them for another, should have seen their faces, they kept fucking up the words. I got three out of them in full, gave them a 20 pence and some miscellaneous copper. They never came back again.

    I had been drinking at the time and I had a couple of mates round, it was fucking hilarious.