Time to brighten the week with the LAWS OF COMBAT

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by easesprings, Aug 18, 2004.

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  1. Time to brighten the week up me thinks!!!!


    LAWS OF COMBAT

    1. ARMY INTELLIGENCE IS A CONTRADICTION IN TERMS
    2. FRIENDLY FIRE ISN’T
    3. ALL 5 SECOND GRENADE FUSES WILL BURN OUT IN 3
    4. IF YOU ARE AHEAD ARTILLERY WILL FALL SHORT
    5. TRY NOT TO LOOK CONSPICUOUS: IT DRAWS FIRE
    6. NEVER SHARE A TRENCH WITH ANYONE BRAVER THAN YOU
    7. INCOMING FIRE HAS THE RIGHT OF WAY
    8. THE ONLY THING MORE ACCURATE THAN ENEMY FIRE IS FRIENDLY FIRE
    9. PROFESSIONAL SOLDIERS ARE PREDICTABLE BUT THE WORLD'S FULL OF AMATEURS
    10. THE MOST DANGEROUS THING ON THE BATTLEFIELD IS AN OFFICER WITH A MAP
    11. IF TWO THINGS MUST BE TOGETHER TO WORK THEY CANT BE SHIPPED TOGETHER
    12. ITS NOT THE BULLET WITH YOUR NAME ON IT YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT ITS THE ONE MARKED "TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN"
    13. IF IT FLIES IT DIES
    14. IF YOU STOP THE ENEMY GETTING IN YOU STOP YOURSELF GETTING OUT
    15. TRY TO LOOK UNIMPORTANT COS THE ENEMY MAY BE LOW ON AMMO
    16. IF YOU ARE SHORT OF EVERYTHING EXCEPT ENEMY YOU ARE IN COMBAT
    17. IF YOU KEEP COOL WHILST EVERYONE ELSE LOSES THEIR HEADS YOU HAVE MISJUDGED THE SITUATION
    18. NO COMBAT READY UNIT HAS EVER PASSED INSPECTION
    19. NO INSPECTION READY UNIT HAS EVER PASSED COMBAT
    20. IF YOU LOSE SIGHT OF THE ENEMY LOOK BEHIND YOU
    21. IF YOU FORTIFY YOUR FRONT YOUR REARS GONNA GET SHOT UP
    22. IF THE ATTACK IS GOING REALLY WELL IT’S AN AMBUSH
    23. REMEMBER YOUR WEAPON WAS MADE BY THE LOWEST BIDDER


    Hope that has doen the trick for someone
     
  2. Good stuff, seen it before but still very amusing.

    Rincewind
     
  3. this one does get posted alot :roll:

    still good tho :D
     
  4. A few additions:

    24: If you have fortified so thoroughly that the enemy can't get in, you won't be able to get out.
    25: The enemy assault that you are succesfully holding off is a feint.

    Oh, and Rule 0: Thou art not Superman.
     
  5. Isn't your new rule 24 the same as rule 14????????????

    Alas, still humourus ;)
     
  6. Yeah but he was saying if you got caught in a seige.
     
  7. 26: The enemy feint you are ignoring is the main attack.
     
  8. Beware of enemy emerging with both hands in the air, he may be surrendering or guiding an armoured vehicle over you!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  9. 27: The easy way is always mined
    28: Friendly fire - isn't
    29: Tracers work both ways

    someone bought the "murphy's law of combat" t-shirt
     
  10. All weather, close, air support...isn't....

    Never draw attention to yourself in a fire-fight...