Tighter than a squids arse....

#1
I work with a blerk who never ceases to amaze me, his tightness is become legend at work. He can light a fag in his pocket, is always on the bog when it's his round and he can peel an orange in his pocket.

Now we've all done that when we are skint, or herself, the shadowless pre-menstrual one indoors, is barking for more shoes than the kids have feet, or for IKEA tat to fill the house.

But I've just noticed that his poppy, proudly sported, has "Haigh Fund" on it's centre boss.

Now that is tight! I am completely gobsmacked.

What do you do with a bloke like that?
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#3
Nick his poppy and sell on e-bay, you should get a fortune for that antique (especially if you said 'as worn by SAS'.)
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#4
I knew a bloke in Gutersloh who had laminated his poppy. Tight cunt!

Oh and TPBD, does it have to be a desk or will any furniture do?
 
#9
Thats alright then. So about two squid if you want to make a bit of a donation as well. £2000 if you feel guilty about something...such as I hope Gordon Brown pays for falling asleep during ceremonies and maybe Michael Foot for wearing his bin man's jacket. Undone. With a horrible loud tie. bloody Communists. http://www.jeremyjacobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Foot_Centph_DonkeyJacket_1981.jpg

I shall miss getting drunk in the mess after the parades this Rememberance Sunday, arm-wrestling, doing beer bottle walking and climbing around a table without touching the ground.
You forgot to mention nodding attentively whilst the smelly old "when I's" from the legion or Chelsea Hospital tell you:

"We had nout when I were in.... and we were glad to get that!"

before watching them descend on the mess curry buffett like a hoard of scabby locusts!
 
#10
Nothing wrong with being frugal and making the most of your assets. The other day, whilst making coffee for vistors, I knocked the unlidded jar over and watched in pure horror as the coffee poured over the edge of the worktop straight into the dogs water bowl. No problem, water from dog bowl tipped into kettle, boiled and coffee served. The dog drool in the water combined with milk gave a very pleasing frothy coffee effect which seemed to be appreciated by my guests.

Edited to add .... I took tea :)
 
#11
Thats alright then. So about two squid if you want to make a bit of a donation as well. £2000 if you feel guilty about something...such as I hope Gordon Brown pays for falling asleep during ceremonies and maybe Michael Foot for wearing his bin man's jacket. Undone. With a horrible loud tie. bloody Communists. http://www.jeremyjacobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Foot_Centph_DonkeyJacket_1981.jpg

I shall miss getting drunk in the mess after the parades this Rememberance Sunday, arm-wrestling, doing beer bottle walking and climbing around a table without touching the ground.
I doubt Michael Foot will be wearing his bin man's jacket undone this year unless they buried him in it.
 
#13
so....



how tight IS a squid's arse? And more's the point...how do you know?? You're the one that killed Paul the Octopus aren't you, they hushed up the botty injuries!!!
 

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