Tight fisted relatives

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by polar69, Dec 29, 2009.

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  1. Now I know its better to give than to receive and the spirit of Christmas is about Baby Jesus etc etc but some people really take the cake.

    Take my brother for example, I wish someone would. No kids, both he and his girlfriend work, mundane boring jobs, no sympathy. Sort of couple who have a dog and tuck it up at night in its basket, I sh!t you not.

    Anyway I have two kids one 16 and one 18 ( in November )

    Went to his house Xmas eve to exchange presents, he handed over one prezzie, "Thats for youngest " says he.

    "I have two sprogs" I pointed out, thinking he'd been a dick and left it in the kitchen.

    "Oh, I dont buy presents for nephews and nieces after they are 18" was his miserly reply.

    Gobsmacked I was, even the wife said nothing, so I knew she was in shock or comotose. I could understand it if he had a million kids of his own, or hordes of relations to buy for, but he doesnt. My other brother has some kids but they dont live round us and they never visit.

    I think I know why now.

    Fcuking tight cnut.

    Question is, is he the tightest ?
  2. I like a nice tight cnut ;)
  3. Kick his wives back doors in?

    Or just buy a prezzy for the pooch next time?

    Or key his car to the value that you feel to be right, and then tell your son about it over a pint in thepub (he is 18 now).
  4. He can't be the tightest relative surely ?
  5. Hmm, he's a tight cnut Polar.
    I used to buy for the nieces and nephews, but i ended up with that many that it almost caused my bank manager to have a breakdown, so i had to do away with it.
    Which means more pennies to spend on alcohol and other christmassy things for me :D
    Next xmas, simply buy your brothers dog something from the pound shop.
  6. Should that say any c*unt? :wink:
  7. Is that an offer?
  8. your brother's next present?

    Attached Files:

  9. Polar you could just give his wife a pressie next year. As for the dog well its speechless, licking his balls waggling tail and sticking nose into well you know where.

    When it comes to siblings sometimes you have to just accept that they are cnuts.
  10. Or if you are feeling really bitter about them, try the following

    In December 2010 you put a small ad. in The Times along the lines of " The Hon. Polar regrets but he will not be sending Christmas presents this year"

    Call round their house around the prezzie exchange time and just hand a copy of the paper to them - works a treat and, if you're really lucky, you may never hear from them again
  11. I like that one :p
  12. We have all made a mutual decision not to give pressies to Nieces and Nephews who are 18 or over, but, I emphasis it has been agreed by all members of family.

    There are a couple of nieces I wouldn't mind giving a small gift too, but, that has also been mutually agreed as a nogo area. Wicked Uncle Ernie is not the best fancy dress cossie when attending family parties..............
  13. Auntie got a free pair of binoculars, really shite ones when she joined the National trust, guess who got them wrapped up on Christmas morning,
  14. You're not on your own, mate. My eldest brother is tight. My mum can't understand it. She says he was tight when he was a kid as well. The rest of us follow the standard pattern of not having very much money, but being happy to spend it, but he's a full on tight-wad.

    He regularly pleads poverty and then inadvertently drops evidence to the contrary. I gave him a bell a couple of years ago to go for a pint.

    "Nah, i'm a bit skint, mate"

    "Don't worry about it, i'll stand you a few pints"

    He came out for a beer and then let slip, without a hint of irony that him and his wife had just completed on a house purchase in Cyprus. So that's why he was fucking 'skint'!!!

    When I was still in, I was on leave from NI once and went out for a few beers with him. At the end of the night, I dropped him off first from the cab. He dug his hand in his pocket and passed some dosh to me.

    "Few quid there" he says.

    Knowing what a Fagin he is I stuck it all in an empty pocket. When I checked it, it was about 40p in 2s and 1s. There's no way he could have done it accidentally.

    The energy that these scheming fuckers must expend, dreaming up ways of saving a quid can't be good for them.

    Never buys presents, always skanks on the round. Other than that, he's a funny guy and good company, but you need eyes in the back of your fucking head not to get seen off by him.

    "Every penny's a prisoner"
  15. My Godfather bought me presents up to my 40th birthday!