Tie breaker help needed

Gents got a competition at work with a 1/2 decent prize need a clean caption for the question below if I win I'll throw a few quid towards H4H

Who would you give your last doughnut to, and why?
My wife, because I want to remain living !!


Book Reviewer
the Bird in Reception with the Big Tits, cos you would like her to lick Jam off your doughnut


Book Reviewer
what kind of question is that - it depends on what type, filled or unfilled, granulated sugar or icing sugar etc...

if its a rasberry filled prefrozen icing sugared one then thats different to a fresh apple and custard granulated sugared one.

anyway stock answer - kim jong il because he's ronery
I'd give it to Tropper as a thank you for inventing them.


Kit Reviewer
The bird in the office who's dieting, as you know she'll say no and you get to be gentlemanly and eat it anyway.


Book Reviewer
Here's my doughnut.
Take it quick.
Before I roll it
Onto my dick!


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I don't like doughnuts so there wouldn't be a last one or a first but assuming 'we' want to win the competition how about: Mother-in-law because she likes them and it doesn't hurt to stay in her good books.
'If I had a doughnut
And it was the last one
I wouldn't keep it to myself
I'd give it to my son.'


Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Gaddaffi, so that while he is sat still eating it, I could give a grid Ref to the RAF to strike his location.

Or something like that.
I'd give it to the Witchfinder General to test a crone in the traditional way to see if she was a witch. Then it would be a Dunkin' Doughnugt.

look just give me the fucking cake or i'll rape a kitten
I'd give it to the animals in the zoo...because I am pretty sure there is a sign there that says "Doughnut - feed the animals" or something...
Take the doughnut to CERN and stick it in the LHC and whizz it around until it reaches a large percentage of light speed and then let it hit the wall. You can then give all 6billion people on the planet a piece of your doughnut thus not favouring or discriminating against anyone.
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