Last year i screwed up a bit, I was studying a promising degree at a good university and was a recruit in the TA. I didn't complete basic and left when I jacked in my degree. Looking back i realise i didn't do the right thing. I'm currently studying an HND at college and really enjoying it. The thing is everytime i walk to college I also walk past my local AFCO. Ever since I left I have realised i still have a burning ambition to be a soldier, I really have tried to ignore it but it won't go away. Every time i switch on the news and see TELIC or HERRICK I feel a great deal of self hatred as I realise how stupid I have been. It's been my childhood dream and i can't ignore it any longer. The last week It's hit a peak, it almost feels like a clock is in my head and my chances of joining up are slipping away. Maybe it's a bit stupid. (I am only 1 I don't want to grow old thinking "I wish i had...." or "I should of...". I have made a real mess of things and would love to make my family proud of me again, and improve my confidence. The misquote (I believe by Kipling?) "Every man thinks meanly of himself for not being a soldier" Sorry If this seems like waffling crap... I just wanted some opinions. I don't really know what to do. It's driving me nuts!