Thrush and birds. Why cant they get a grip?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aunty Stella, Mar 19, 2009.

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  1. Dirty wh0res, too lazy to clean up

  2. An excuse given to husbands whilst the antibiotics clears up the VD caught from the singlies

  3. I'm a bird. You are a sexist pig

  4. It's just nature. It's the same biological function that sometimes makes women smell like

  1. I'm on a drought at the moment due to one of Canistons customers.

    WTF is it with you birds and thrush? Can you not keep your rancid bleeding axe wounds free from fungus for 10 minutes?

    I mean, how often do you see adverts on the tele for blokes creams to cure "knob mushrooms"? How often do you see mens advice pages where it is recommended that we rub yoghurt onto our cocks?

    We know how to shake and clean the helmet, hence there being no need for "Caniston for the angry fireman"

    Seeing a bloke scratching his nether regions is a normal and natural thing, it just means that he is preparing to empty the silo.

    Watching a bird do it due to an invading irritant is en par to watching Jo Brand masturbate, we're sure it's neccesary but really don't want to fcuking see it and means that you have allowed yourself to become unclean.

    Why can't the Doris's get a grip and keep it fresh and nice? We have enough to deal with having your cackpipe shoved in our noses every time we play the number after 68, give us a break and keep the clout clean of truffles.

    Any of you Doris's that are out there that have had it, you are filthy tramps, just like my missus, that can't read the instructions on toilet paper or soap.
  2. if you give it a scrape you can use the yeast for beer and wine making- or so I have been told.
  3. terroratthepicnic

    terroratthepicnic LE Reviewer Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Runners

    I have come to the conclusion that it is do with the fact they are told not to wash it with soap and water. So they go out and buy c*ntgel and fannyfresh.

    It makes me laugh that they have the cheek to winge when I don't wash my hands with soap after having a slash, but wont wash the area their p1ss comes out of because it's not healthy. Get a grip women, I have been washing my bell end for years with lynx shower gel and I don't get thrush, maybe a semi, but deffinitly not thrush.
  4. They re just filth...i was knocking this nurse off, who used to have the most vile thrush just after her gash cleared up from bleeding...she was a bit of a hippy, natural remmedies tart...who used to make me fill a big syringe of natural yoghrt and inject it in to her rancid box, down side was i used to get turned on by this and shag her....two days later my c0ck would shed 3 layers of was like making porridge in a sock....filty tart
  5. Fcuking selfishness thats what it comes down to. Their negligence causes us to go through a horrible period of no sex and do they care? No. Then you have to go and spend precious beer money on a prostitute, or reducing yourself to shagging a fat bird because you know they'll be grateful. Then you come home and shes all like 'you haven't been paying attention to me, you only want me for sex blah blah blah I dont think we should see each other anymore' and then next thing you know all you can see is a red mist and when it clears you're sitting in Romford police station hancuffed and covered in blood and with cuts on your knuckles...
  6. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    Do you lot hang around filthy bints or something, I've never met a Doris who suffered from thrush in my life.
  7. Perhaps theres something in that yeasty fish stentch...that attracts us and repels you :oops:

    If you ve woken up with an itchy helmet that looks like a snake sheding its skin after dipping....thats thush :oops:
  8. I caught it in my throat once (nuff said), had to live on ice cream for a week - purgatory for me as I ain't got a sweet tooth, would have killed for a packet of salt n shake, but they would have ripped my throat out quicker than a rabid rottie!
  9. Just because they didn't tell you,does not mean they didn't have it.

    Either that or you really have been very lucky!!
  10. Itches like a bastard as well , dirty mares, youd think being able to catch a whiff of your fanny from 50 paces would be insentive enough to scrub it out with a bog brush and bleach.
  11. Giving you the old "Not tonight Stella, I've got thrush" excuse then? That's worse than the "I've got a headache" one. I'd worried fella, she's getting it from someone else!
  12. You were never near a WRAC then. I never knew if it was thrush or dead magpie with them. 8) 8)
  13. Dead prawns mate!! the stench of a WRAC trench.....ah the memories 8O
  14. At one point in my life i had a thing about asking girls their cleaning regime. Most say they have baths and the water goes in and out thus cleaning it. Some would have a look of horror as they realise theyve never actually cleaned up there. Some would be anoyed i asked and some would laugh it off but my point was that they dont clean up there, none of them. None actually use a bit of elbow grease and physically wash it. The amount of knobs that have been in there splashing its walls? What about when theyre older? Imagine not cleaning your cock for 50 years, it would be bad but the vagina would be worse because it gets filled with cum, fadge juice, sweat etc. They probably seal up due to the fact theyre full of hard cum. Disgusting.
  15. Never trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die.