Thrapping is Dangerous-Official

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Furryturd, Aug 30, 2010.

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  1. What can I say, I'm addicted to risk.

    Does this mean every hand-shandy is an attempted suicide? A cry for help as it were?
     
  2. Nonsense!!! Cranking ones handle got one through many an hour in a sangar. The only dangerous tug I ever had was nearly getting caught mid-vinegar by our then female Assistant Adjutant as she showed some press around the sangars at Masonic.
     
  3. Over and above, following are also the causes to excite sexual organs to masturbate :
    1. Chronic Constipation.
    2. Excessive use of sour foods.
    3. Excessive use of stimulating diets such as meat, eggs, tea, etc.
    4. Seeing of sexual and love scenes in T. V., cinemas.
    5. Reading of amorous literature, novels, etc.
    6. Talking of sexual problems with young ladies in seclusion.
    My affliction is 5, but only because of insufficient 6.

    Anyone score all 6?
     
  4. Kind of sums up why you should never take advice from a single source, one Dr(that no-one has heard of before) say it's bad and comes up with a load of twaddle about house servants and sour foods, and all of a sudden it's fact.
    I know this is the NAFFI but ffs! :-(
     
  5. "Masturbation is the process of bringing about a voluntary excitement of the sexual centers following generally by the discharge of semen"

    Fuck me! I never knew that women who diddled turned in to men?!
     
  6. If they do it in a mirror, they can get themselves pregnant.
     
  7. What were you looking for when you found this ?

    (A God-bothering Islamic homeopathic Dr who posts drivel on the internet. What a find......)
     
  8. I wonder if the good Doctor has any views on blowjobs?
     
  9. And just what does 'D.I. Hom' denote?
     
  10. There you go.Looks like a bargain to me.

    British Institute of Homeopathy
    General Homeopathy Diploma Course (DIHom)
    Course #102
    List price: $2,565.00
    Our price: $2,565.00





    Costs: if paid in full upon registration:$2565.00; or pay using the convenient payment plan of $850.00 upon registration and 8 equal monthly payments of $250.00 (Credit Card Only) for a total cost of $2850.00.

    General Diploma in Homeopathy
    Internationally acclaimed, this popular course offers an open university style, distance learning, comprehensive home study course for the prestigious Diploma of the Institute in Homeopathy, entitling the holder to use the initials, DIHom.

    Over 3,000 graduates are now practising homoeopathy throughout the world.

    Eligibility
    The course is designed for students at all levels of knowledge and experience in homoeopathy, including physicians, osteopaths, dentists, nurses and practitioners of other holistic therapies, such as acupuncturists, naturopaths, physical therapists, reflexologists, aromatherapists, herbalists, or other health professionals.

    Applicants with a good general education and a commitment to homoeopathy are also eligible.

    Students may enroll directly for the Diploma Course. As the course is entirely by home study, it may be commenced at any time throughout the year.

    Optional supplement in-class seminars are announced in the Institute Newsletter sent to all students.

    Duration
    The duration of the course is approximately 200 hours, normally takes 9-12 months; but students work at home and can study at their own pace. Your personal tutor will help you to achieve whatever goal you set to complete the course.



    Course consists of 30 lessons, 2 Audios, 2 Videos, 2 mid-terms and a final exam. A CD-Rom of course materials is also provided. The course is available in Braille with computer generated Braille resource and support from a visually impaired tutor who is herself a qualified homeopath. This course is also available in Spanish with Spanish speaking tutors.
     
  11. OldSnowy

    OldSnowy LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    Some sort of homoeopathic 'qualification'. Incidentally, why on earth does the NHS waste money on this utter, utter, nonsense? The best view of homoeopathy is this by Mitchell and Webb:
    YouTube - That Mitchell and Webb Look: Homeopathic A&E
     
  12. Trans-sane

    Trans-sane LE Book Reviewer

    Its up there with the black, amputee, toilet furniture porn for most random boxes ticked in a single google.

    "Some of the after-effects of masturbation are :

    a. The nervous system is affected the most. (really? In what way?)
    b. Besides the heart, the digestive system, the urinary system as well as the other systems are adversely affected and consequently the whole body becomes the museum of diseases with profound weakness.
    c. The eyes become sunken, the cheek bones protrude and there is a black rim round the eyes. (might be more due to lack of sleep)
    d. Continuous headache and backache.
    e. Dizziness and loss of memory. (fair one. Bad dose of porn glare can affect anyone)
    f. Palpitation of heart on lightest exertion.
    g. Nervousness.
    h. Unable to perform any heavy physical or mental work. (wow. I'm sure I spent a morning carrying 300ish marley moderns up 2 floors of ladders then spent the afternoon laying them. If I'd have known that cracking one off 3-4 times a night did that I wouldn't have bothered and I'd have been finished be elevenses)
    i. The person dislikes any company and activities and rather likes to sit in seclusion and suffers from weakness.
    j. All the senses are impaired.
    k. Vision becomes dim, the tongue begins to stammer and ears tend to become deaf etc. (it really dose make you go blind!)
    l. Lastly T. B. or insanity or some other serious disease catch hold of the victim to lead his life to a close.
    m. Impotency. (I thought he'd have already died to TB or gone batshit. Do you only become impotent after death???)

    Therefore, young men are advised to consult a qualified and honest homoeopathic practitioner for his expert advice and effective treatment instead of wasting his money with quacks. Further, those young men who are or have been engaged in the regular habits of masturbation should not ignore the necessity to consult the qualified homoeopaths to avoid sexual embarrassment at the time of marriage.

    My bold. Rather than wasting your money consulting a quack, consult a homoeopathic practioner. Aren't they just quacks that have gone main-stream? Or is his local NHS trust one of those thats been spending million on "alternative therapies"?
     
  13. Some of the after-effects of Friday night's piss-up are :
    1. The nervous system is affected the most.
    2. Besides the heart, the digestive system, the urinary system as well as the other systems are adversely affected and consequently the whole body becomes the museum of diseases with profound weakness.
    3. The eyes become sunken, the cheek bones protrude and there is a black rim round the eyes.
    4. Continuous headache and backache.
    5. Dizziness and loss of memory.
    6. Palpitation of heart on lightest exertion.
    7. Nervousness.
    8. Unable to perform any heavy physical or mental work.
    9. The person dislikes any company and activities and rather likes to sit in seclusion and suffers from weakness.
    10. All the senses are impaired.
    11. Vision becomes dim, the tongue begins to stammer and ears tend to become deaf etc.
    12. Lastly T. B. or insanity or some other serious disease catch hold of the victim to lead his life to a close.
    13. Impotency.