Next weekend Natalie Imbruglia is switching on the Blackpool illuminations. Ive liked her since she was Beth in neighbours and have showered her with affection and threats of violence for ignoring me and not giving into my requests and demands. I'm in two or three minds what to do: 1. Do I snub her and not attend? 2. Do I give it one last chance and attempt to woo and seduce her with a spandex trousered love dance to 'Torn' 3. Do I charge the stage and stab her with a candy floss stick and dismember her tits as punishment. I know which hotel she is staying at, so over the past month I've stayed in every room and left a tablet bottle full of my baby batter in it should she find it and want to neck it down in a oner. I think Natalie_doh_nut has a ring to it, if I blag her into marraige I shan't be posting on here for a while....... or until Beyonce comes to town.